How High is Your Balloon?

Big colorful balloons

When we were kids, many of us loved big colorful balloons, especially for our birthdays or other occasions. Some of us adults, still do because they simply make us happy just to look at them and their big bright colors. 

Of course, there are people that really dislike balloons of any kind. Maybe because balloons can be noisy if they POP! and surprise us. Or perhaps they have had a bad episode involving a balloon that reminds them of a scary or dangerous time in their past. Just the loud sound when they burst can trigger nervousness in us and make us jump. That's understandable.

There is a story of a little boy, named Karan, and his friends playing with their balloons each of a different color. They wanted to see whose balloon would fly the highest. Karan believed it had to do with the color of the balloon but his never traveled the highest no matter what color he picked. 

"Karan asked the balloon seller, 'Tell me please, which balloon will go the highest in the sky? Is it the red, the yellow, the green or the blue one?'” The merchant explained it had nothing to do with the color but what it contained. If you want, read the entire short story by clicking the following link: Highest Balloon

How High?
What does that story have to do with us and our situation today? The author of the above story explains: "How high a person will rise in life depends not on his caste, colour or creed, but on his thoughts, confidence, values and character."    

That is a great life lesson for us to remember. After all, we have been given another chance at life. It may not feel that way at this moment, but if we work at it, and don't give up, we will eventually see what lies ahead can be very good, indeed. We have an opportunity now to create momentum in our lives and change whatever we don't like. 

One step at a time

There really is nothing we can't accomplish. But it takes determination and a clear head. How many times have you said, "I wish I could. . ." So, what is holding you back right now? 

Do you hate not having a college degree? There is no age limit on a college application. If that is too scary, start small at a community college. If that isn't what you want or it isn't important right now for you, that's okay. 

Do you want to start your own business? Look into how to do that the right way. Click on this link to learn more: Small Business 

Do you simply want to stay home with your kids? That's great, but don't hibernate; join a mom's group in your neighborhood or even online. Click on this link and be the best mom possible: Moms Are the Best


You Get the Idea! 
Once you start on this exciting track, you'll be amazed at what can happen. But don't forget to check in with your Teacher. He has the perfect plan for you. Find out what God wants you to do and ask for his guidance. He will never let you down, not ever. Just talk to him like a friend. You'll see!

"So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times! Don't live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants" (Ephesians 5:15-17 The Message). 

Putting Out the Fire

Fire Out of Control

No one would ever want their world to go up in dense, choking smoke with flames out of control. Yet, it happens to homeowners more often than we can imagine. Currently, in the drought-stricken Southwest, there are massive fires in Colorado, Utah, Wyoming, and in New Mexico where 1.6 million acres of the Santa Fe National Forest has been damaged and the national park is still closed since June 1st. Fires leave devastation in their paths. 

It only takes one small spark to set off a fire that can destroy lives. Tragically, it may start as a man-made fire (accidental or on purpose) through carelessness. Other times it is the result of a lightning storm that spreads destruction for miles and miles. And ironically, there are occasions where the fire begins inside us through the use of our tongues. It's true. With all we have experienced as single-again women to get to this particular point in our lives, we may often lose control of the hurtful words that come out of our mouths before we can stop them.

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."
(Charles R. Swindoll)

Many women harbor anger inside especially now. Actually, it's quite normal and part of the several stages of getting over a divorce including denial, depression, repairing damage, and acceptance. Anger does not feel o.k., but, it is o.k. What? Remember, highly charged emotions like anger are part of us, but that doesn't mean we need to allow our days to completely destroy us. Who would that serve? It gets us nowhere fast. Of course, ignoring the anger and trying to "push" it down inside of us also doesn't work as it leads to more anger followed swiftly by depression. 

The key to moving past this firestorm is changing our "fire-fighting" response. Not all "fires" are the same. When one method isn't working, then we try something better. 
   
Basic Tools to Put Out the Fire
Community. Stay in touch with others. Isolation multiplies problems.
Goals. Concentrate on what you want to see happening in your life.
Change. Embrace something new: home, job, holiday celebrations, or hair-do.
Health. Now is the time to take control and beat that ____ (fill in).
Connection. Find a church home and discover who you are.

Genuine Love

Love Straight from God

Never believe you are not valuable to God! He cares deeply for you as a woman. And He cares what happens to you, even now. Nothing can divert His attention from you. In fact, the Bible says that nothing in heaven or on earth can separate His love from you. Ever!     

God truly understands what we have gone through. Whether it was ten days ago, or ten years ago, He is right beside us holding our right hand in His! It's simply amazing how much He loves each one of us. Has anyone else ever literally died on a cross to save you from yourself? Jesus stretched out His arms and did just that!

"It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell" (James 3:5-6 The Message).

Passion Gone Wrong

Misplaced Passion

There are many, many true stories of revenge--both in long-ago history and in modern times. Maybe even someone close in our own lives has gone through this dark wrong-doing. Think about these two examples of extreme revenge the next time you are experiencing a sense of pay-back. 

Princess Olga of Kiev (capital of Ukraine) experienced and acted upon an act of revenge. She was married to the country's ruler but her husband was killed. The culture she lived in considered her an unwed woman--apparently not worth much. So she was expected to choose a proper mate and had many prospects. But she only wanted revenge for the killing of her husband, not another marriage. To make a long story short, Olga had her many suitors (who wouldn't leave her alone) buried alive! An extreme case of passion gone wrong. (www.unbelievable-facts.com)

Centuries later during the American Civil War a slave named Alec--who didn't invite or enjoy revenge of any kind into his life--found himself in a difficult situation he couldn't avoid, or so he thought [note: we always have a choice]. It's a very long story so we won't try to repeat it. The point is, after the War, this former slave personally shot and killed his former owner. Alec then moved to the northeast United States and bought a 100-acre farm ironically named "Journey's End." He spent the next 50 years of his life alone on his farm. Was it worth it? (Check www.cracked.com for details). 

These are gruesome and extraordinary stories, but we needed to have a jump-off point to see what revenge can really do to us if we are not careful. In our modern day, this is what drives numerous dramas on TV and the movies. What are we to do with those kinds of personal thoughts after we are finally on our own? 

First Reactions: Passion Gone Wrong
We aren't alone. It's pretty common right after we go through the mess of ending an abusive relationship, that our first irrational, emotional reaction may be to get even. With him. With the other woman. With family. With friends. With everyone! But thankfully, it usually turns out to be a knee-jerk reaction. Couldn't we recognize that we have gone through enough drama in our lives and it's time to stop wasting energy and move on to better things? 

We are not saying it is never right to express displeasure or even anger in our lives. That's what "happily ever after" fairy tales are made of. Just too sweet! But being so furious with someone that it causes us to turn into a "monster of revenge" is better left in Hollywood. Consenting to angry outbursts towards others continually wears us down inch by inch. It really solves nothing, but only creates more and more problems down the road and turns us into bitter, unreasonable, pathetic women no one wants to be around.  

A Life Well-Lived

Focus on tying up the loose ends

Our focus right now is better served re-building a new and bright life for ourselves (and children if they are in the picture). We have the opportunity to do this now without someone else pushing and demanding us to be someone we are not. In fact, it can be quite exciting planning a whole new direction to go. If you are constantly distracted by other destructive thoughts, begin a daily journal of what you want your life to look like in the future and have fun making plans. Everyone will wonder where that beautiful smile of yours comes from! 

His Smile Upon You
Our Creator and Father in heaven (unlike any father we have ever known on earth) is always ready to help us with all these run-away emotions. God knows we are human and therefore, we need His hand guiding us to love our neighbor as ourselves. The Bible tells us we can have love, joy, peace, and patience among other wonderful characteristics to get us through this life--if we really want them. Then the really Good News follows in heaven with Him forever!

"Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it" (Romans 12:17-19 The Message). 

How To Separate the Good from the Bad

Winter trees need their rest!

Now that Fall is in full swing, most areas of the country are soon experiencing a massive pile of leaves to rake. Usually not a favorite chore although children enlisted to help end up playing and jumping into piles more than working. A great photo opportunity! It takes a while--and sometimes more than once or twice--to get the job done for the season. The result is a winterized tree that needs plenty of rest.  

Now some people say this is a depressing site. But it doesn't have to be that way. If we think about this natural occurrence its all about survival. According to the Children's Museum of Indianapolis, trees can lose a lot of water in the spring and summer just producing leaves. In the winter they no longer have enough water, so the tree actually "pushes" the leaves off so they can reserve their energy to grow new ones in the spring again. Amazing!

None of us can say we are bare trees waiting for the spring, but we can certainly understand the concept of needing rest to rejuvenate our bodies. No! No! We are not promoting hibernating and never getting our bodies to move just because it is winter. Far from it. We probably need even more exercise in the winter or we could waste away like the leaves. But this week isn't about exercising per se. Whew! Almost lost you there! 

More Good Than Bad
What we want to encourage right now is how to move forward with our single-again lives and really get a head start on what we want to do and where we want to go. It may seem like we are talking about New Years' resolutions, but we are definitely not. We just want to throw out the bad (anything useless or worthless) and issue in all that is good (useful and valuable). It's not so hard. In fact, it may be as simple as picking and choosing some of these ideas (or add your own):  

To Do
1-Make/craft something new and fresh. Wreaths, tree garlands, gifts. Donate or trash the old Christmas decorations.
2-Create at least one new tradition and try a recipe of your own instead of the one that's been in the family for centuries.
3-Change your furniture around. It will change your attitude too.
     

Christmas Nutcracker

To Go
1-Invite a friend or two to a midnight candlelight service on Christmas Eve.

2-When was last time you went ice skating? It's still fun!

3-Have you ever seen a live stage production of The Nutcracker Ballet? No excuses, most towns have one. Grab a friend and just go. Not into ballet? There is also The Nutcracker movie (hint: it just isn't the same though!).

It's All About You

If you haven't discovered it yet, the Fresh Start Momentum blog is all about you. Encouraging and helping you to re-create your old life into a new, successful life. Why? Because maybe you haven't done this before and can't seem to get started. We can help. It really can be better than it is now. They say "it takes a village." We say it takes a community. A group of other women who have gone through this mess.

We also know it takes Someone in control to be our Guide. Someone who knows you inside and out. . .all the pain, sorrow, and grief that has tried to bring you down. But He also knows your heart. He created it. He created you. And God is the most important part of your past, present, and future. Just know He didn't cause your divorce but He knows everything that happened from beginning to end. And He is ready to take you in His arms and never let you go. You are that valuable to Him!

"He is ready to separate the chaff [anything false, useless, worthless, wicked, evil] from the wheat [everything true, useful, and valuable] with his winnowing [sifting] fork. Then he will clean up the threshing area, gathering the wheat into his barn but burning the chaff with never-ending fire" Matthew 3:12 NLT. (Emphasis added).