Finding a Better Substitute

Life Can Be Scary!

When we were children, most of us had a hard time learning to share. We never wanted to give up anything that we thought was ours to keep. Not even for a minute. And when it did happen, we wanted to lash out. We can see that same pattern in our own children too. It's a learning curve!

Even as adults, it doesn't seem reasonable that we would ever want someone to take away anything from us again. We've given up so much that we feel another disappointment could throw us over the edge. We even stay up until all hours of the night wondering how we are going to get it all back.

The Way Things Happen

In fact (whether willingly or not), we did just that--we gave up what was ours. However, we probably discovered in the process that we didn't need or even want all the material possessions in the first place. Who needs two or three of everything? We were able to finally give away that ugly, brown corduroy TV chair; the solid steel, oval steak roasting pan that was used once; and the remote-controlled tie rack left in the closet!

Giving away, or having something taken away, isn't the worse that can happen to us.

It's not the negative occurrence we seem to think it is. We may have to change our minds about if we really need the item in question and why. It could just mean we have to find a better substitute. At the very least, it frees us to choose our own necessary living essentials that fit our new lifestyles.  

Other than material possessions, there are definitely things in our lives we desperately want to be taken away. Some of these things have caused us much pain and heartache. Wouldn't we want hatred, unkindness, evil, malice, and prejudice removed from our lives? Couldn't we do without depression, anxiety, worry, chaos, and selfishness?

Something to Think About

Many people have misunderstood the beautiful Christian song, “Blessed Be Your Name,” where it speaks of the fact God gives and takes away. This immediately sounds like a truly negative and distasteful concept.

However, as demonstrated above, we can understand that there are things in our lives we want Him to take away. We can then thank Him for blessing us in such a way.

Once upon a time, God took everything away from a man named Job all in one day, including his family and friends! Heart-breaking, yes. Something similar may have even happened to one of us. Why, we ask?

Some scholars say that in Job’s case it was to bring him to a point of humility. After all, we came into the world with nothing and will leave with nothing. In between those two major events, we hopefully learn everything we have, absolutely everything, comes from God.  

“He said, ‘I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The LORD gave me what I had, and the LORD has taken it away. Praise the name of the LORD!’ ” Job 1:21 NLT.

And the Angels Dance!

Write Your Own Story the Way You Want It!

We are born with a certain personality--our own individual nature. We can even see it in tiny infants in the special way they coo, laugh, or cry and no two are alike (experts say there are even small differences in identical twins). We recognize the baby's sound and respond to it. Babies react to the particular care and attention given to them by everyone who they come into contact. This is how children learn to recognize their own parents.  

Imagination Lost, But Not Forgotten

As we grow, our natures develop in many different ways. Hopefully, it is in a mature fashion, but at times we may show signs of destructive personality traits. We see in many adults examples of selfishness, irresponsibility, pride, and a general lack of compassion and love.       

When this happens, it causes us to lose sight of our intended direction in one way or another. When we were children or in high school, we probably had a pretty good idea what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our imaginations went wild! We may even have spent time researching how to make that dream come true. Eventually, without the discipline needed, we allowed ourselves to get distracted. Sound familiar?

It could be some of us had parents who encouraged us to get into the right college or trade school. Did we listen? On the other hand, maybe we didn't get the support we needed at home. Our achievements and dreams were not celebrated as a possible pathway for our life ambitions. No one was in our corner.   

If it didn't come from our home environment, most likely we had someone we crossed paths with who influenced us to go after our dreams. Maybe it was a teacher or counselor. An aunt, grandma, or grandpa. A pastor or neighbor. Whether we listened to their advice or not, they recognized the potential in us.    

The Better Path

When we get off course and pursue lifestyles, careers, and marriages that were never meant to be, it changes our entire life map. It's as if we are headed down one path and we find the road blocked. We are forced to use the detour. And sometimes it seems we can never get off it and we start going in circles!

Then we ask, what in the world happened? Years later when circumstances cause us to open our eyes, we see our nature was really traveling down the wrong road. Bingo! Other things started coming to the surface, like so much garbage stuck in the drain. We allowed others to change our course. We lost the space needed to grow, create, and find our purpose. We didn't believe and trust in God to pursue what He had planned for us to do so long ago.

The Angels Dance!

After struggling, perhaps for years, to gain control once more of our own lives, we finally reach a point where we realize our nature was just out of sync with God’s plans for us. He never intended for us to go this way! This time, we turn. We seek. We listen. Our spirit is reconnecting to our soul like magnets attracted to each other. We “put on a new nature” and the angels dance! Renewal begins.

"Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him" Colossians 3:10 NLT.

"In the same way, there is joy in the presence of God's angels when even one sinner repents" Luke 15:10 NLT.

 

Can You See in The Dark?

Relatively speaking, the electric light bulb is fairly new. It was invented the same year as the espresso machine! I’ll take a double-shot vanilla latte with whipped cream, please. Both were invented only 138 years ago--two short generations. Our great-grandmothers may still be alive to tell us that before that, people mainly used candles, oil lamps, and fire for light. However, all of these means of producing light have limits: they all burn out eventually, even the light bulb.

Children normally hate being in the dark, but sometimes adults do as well. Electrical storms can be unnerving when all the lights go out at once as we scramble for the flashlight (invented, by the way, 21 years after the electric light bulb). Many of us wake up each morning and want to open all the windows and blinds. We bask on sunny days. We adore chandeliers and take pleasure in candlelight. And as long as there are lots of stars, we marvel at the night sky.

Big Differences

Unless we work at night and sleep during the day, most of us crave light! For many women, it’s our most productive time, although waking hours vary greatly. Some are up at the “crack of dawn” and some of us prefer to sleep-in, if at all possible. Eventually, we each find our best time to get things done, establishing a routine and a pattern.

Our routines most likely have changed since living alone; usually for the better. We don’t have to check-in or check-out with someone else. We make our own schedules and set our own clocks. We cook, or not, whenever we feel like it. There are many advantages to living alone.

Notice the word above is “alone,” not “lonely.” There is a big difference. One is positive, one negative. Just like our patterns and routines, we have to learn to recognize when one is working and one is not. When one is nurturing us and when one is getting us down. We can be prepared with steps to avoid the negative. Having friends to do things with and enjoy, having a list of activities that brighten our day, and volunteering in a worthy organization are just a few ways to bring happiness and joy to our lives. To bring the “light” into the dark corners.

The Longest One of All

Psalm 119 is the longest Chapter, as well as the longest Psalm in the Bible. With 176 verses, it describes Who God is, what He expects of us, and it shows us how we can praise Him. And to be sure, God’s light never burns out! He promises to always be a light for us to see in the dark corners of our single-again lives. He can be trusted to guide us through any negative thoughts. Best of all, He keeps His promises because He is the same yesterday, today and always.

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. Ps 119:105

It Takes All Kinds of Women

Ever hear of Brownie Wise? Probably not. But her story is about to become a Hollywood movie played by Sandra Bullock. You see, she was the single mom behind the success of Tupperware parties in the 1950s. After Mr. Earl Tupper invented Tupperware, it took a woman to figure out how to make it a success! Should we say, "Of course!"

This is not a story about Ms. Wise though. This is a story of faith and how as women we have everything we need to make things happen for ourselves. It's no joke that living on our own requires a certain kind of courage. Especially if we have come from difficult, oppressive, or abusive relationships. 

But let's not dwell on the negatives because that just uses up all the energy we have within us; it gets us no where. And we need all that energy to not just survive, but to live above and beyond what others may expect of us. Here's a question to get us started: 

How does God see me? 
We might be amazed about His perspective of us if we did a search. For instance, we would find:

• Forgiven - first and foremost, no matter what we have done in our past, we are forgiven--now and forever--past, present and future. Why is that so huge? Because there is no more guilt to deal with. Scratch that off the list.
• Chosen Yes, we are so valuable to God, that He chose us. We didn't choose Him. Imagine how awesome that really is. We all know the feeling of being rejected. It's not pretty by any means and it can destroy us emotionally. But in God's eye, we are that special. 
• Confident -  we may need to work on this one, but our Creator is already certain about what knowing Him can mean for our future. He never wants us to walk in a state of depression and uncertainty. 
• Hopeful - Now, we can come to this point in our lives where we are beginning to understand about decisions and choices. We were given new found freedom to do so. We can know that there is so much out there. No more bleak and dark days for us. God has a unique plan just waiting for us. Go and grab it!
• Hopeful - The best of the best. The prime condition for a broken heart. The answer for all those tears and lonely nights. We will never know the all encompassing, intimate love God has reserved for us until we go to Him and reach out. He's waiting!

What's the point here? 
We need to know where we are along our journey in order to get somewhere. There is no success in whatever we have decided to do with our lives if we walk around in a daze of dejection, sadness, and a hollow time capsule. Once we know God is on our side, we can do anything we set our minds on. Since the beginning of time He has shown He uses all kinds of women. Get ready--you are next!

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 

No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

SUMMER SCHEDULE

If you are a fan of this blog, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Please catch this blog during the summer on Mondays and Wednesdays by hitting the Subscribe button, top right column.

We’ll have some fun things and interesting messages to make your summer special.

Now go. . .

wiggle your toes in the sand

sail the winds and surf

bike, hike, and kite till you drop in sheer fun!

What is Prayer Good For?

Pets are a great solution, too!

Probably most of us have, at one time or another, felt a sensation of sweating, tension, increased pulse and headache in answer to the various, everyday forms of stress. It can come from anger, fear, aggravation, frustration or illness in ourselves or others to name just a few reasons. No one can escape it for an entire lifetime. It's not pretty, but pretty common.   

Stress-less Solutions

Apparently, there are as many ways to handle feelings of stress as there are people alive! Some are quite simple like having a pet around to soothe our nerves. Close friends who have a gift of listening. Lighting candles and putting on quiet music. Going to dinner with an encouraging friend. Shopping for an antique clock. Huh? Okay, that's just a personal favorite. And the yummiest: enjoying a warm beverage, probably with chocolate!        

Classic Clues

On a more practical level, if we want a solution that has been around for centuries that is guaranteed to turn our situation around, it's Whispered Prayer. On the surface, it doesn't seem that it's very sensible or useful in the midst of a stress attack. After all, we can't reach out and touch prayer as if it is an object, like a pet or a candle. We can't enjoy the taste like chocolate. But we can ask, what is prayer good for?  

• relieving distress (Psalm 102)
• deliverance from fear (Psalm 34:4)
• confidence the Lord will hear us (1 John 5:14)
• we will receive an answer (Psalm 17:6)
• daily requests are welcome (Philippians 4:6)
• calms anger (1 Timothy 2:8)
• provides peaceful and quiet lives (1 Timothy 2:1)
• increases faith (Jeremiah 33:3)
• receiving the love of God (Psalm 42:8)
• healing and forgiveness granted (James 5:15-16)

These are only a few. We also know prayer is a direct conversation between us and the One True God, and that, dear friends, is pure joy.  

Where Do We Begin?

When we have no idea how to pray, nor what to pray for, it's not the time to give up! Jesus already knows what we want to pray for and He has a solution. His Holy Spirit will help us. We just have to be honest and ask. He will even fill in what we have left out. It's true!

The greatest part of prayer is there's no special place we have to go in order to pray. No special physical posture to assume. We can pray as we grocery shop, wash our hair, while we wait to pick our child up at school, or driving in the car. God always hears our prayers no matter where we are. Then, we can count on the fact God always answers our prayers. Yes, always. He delights in it! The answer is either "Yes," "No," or "Not yet." He knows what is best for us at the time.

Thankfulness is a great place to begin!

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done” Philippians 4:6 (NLT)

Five Secrets About Your Working Life

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. (Oscar Wilde)

Let's face it. No beating around the bush. Once we become single again, most likely we will need to either find an alternative income source or a regular job. Even if we have all the money we need, sitting around with nothing to do is terribly boring, unproductive, and detrimental to our social life!

There are actually many benefits to taking a job or starting a career. Try and list as many as possible. If we have already been working for a while, maybe we are thinking of changing jobs. That's not a bad thing by any means. We have to take pride in our work and if it's time to move on, we'll know it by the dissatisfaction we feel.

5 Secrets About Why Working Is Good For Us

• Our health and happiness will improve
• Taking the risk will energize us
• Gives us reason to become who we really are
• Creates friendships with those in our same situation
• Provides ways to find new interests      

The wrong thing at the right time

All of this may seem scary at first, but even if we have never worked before outside the home, there are ways to get started with that too. One of the first things to do is to find our strengths. If accounting is not our thing, taking a job as a bookkeeper would be a disaster. If we hate baking, working as a pastry chef would drive us crazy. If sales gives us hives, selling cars would be a joke. Get the picture?

WHAT AM I GOOD AT?  [Click on this Link]

Next, we don't need to be told, education is important. If a degree is already on our shelf, then great--we need to get out the door and hit the pavement! If not, then, obviously, the key is to get educated in a field that is exciting for us. It may mean night school while we work elsewhere to pay the bills, but then what else do we have to do with our time? If we work hard at it, it will happen before we know it.

Who is Our Director?

Some of us are planners from way back. Organizing is at the top of our list. Some of us are definitely not in that camp! We need help for sure. What is really good to know is that we do not need to do this alone. There are support groups, counselors, and friends to call on when we are down in the dumps.

There is also One who cares about us more than anyone ever could. God knows what we need (not want) the most and what is best for us. He sees the Big Picture from beginning to end. The best we can do is look at our life with blinders on. God is willing to direct our steps until we reach His ideal for our perfect life. Our part is just to ask!

Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed (Proverbs 16:3 NLT).

Woman of the Month: Deborah

Deborah sat in the cool of palm trees

Better Late, Than Never

This lesson of wisdom was instilled into the Israelites, through Deborah, the prophetess, as she was directed by the hand of God. Israel had turned against God and were forced to endure much hardship. Only then did they cry out to the Lord for help. Much like we do when we entertain our idols, like money, prosperity and possessions, and then find they don’t last long, nor are they at all satisfying.

Deborah was an honored judge and the only woman on record to hold this leadership position over Israel. She would often sit under palm trees north of Jerusalem and there conduct business and settle disputes among the nation’s leaders. Deborah’s judgment was considered Divine and, thus, highly trusted.

Strong Role Model

By God’s direction, Deborah ordered an army to take on Jabin and his general, Sisera, who had oppressed Israel for years. But she didn’t just stay home in her comfortable home. No, she wouldn’t ask the men to go where she would not. Deborah went with them to give her authoritative support.

If we have ever been in a leadership role at work or in the community and have issued instructions or a directive to be carried out, but didn’t lend our support of the project, we may have lost the respect of those under our direction. As each new project began and we did the same thing, eventually, no one wanted to work for us. And we wondered why. Better late than never learning such lessons.

The Lord Walks Ahead of Each of Us

Sisera’s confidence was in his 900 iron chariots. He believed he had the power to overcome any enemy with such power. We might say, “His head got a little too big for his ego.” This kind of immense, overwhelming pride becomes a burden quickly. Deborah trusted God. She said to her military leader, “Go! This is the day the LORD has given Sisera into your hands. Has not the LORD gone ahead of you?” (Judges 4:14 NIV).

With Deborah’s insight from the LORD, “. . . All the troops of Sisera fell by the sword; not a man was left.” The coward Sisera didn’t stay with his army, he fled on foot. Would God let him go? Oh, no! God would yet use another woman. Sisera arrived at the tent of a woman, Jael. She invited him in and gave him something to drink. While he was asleep, quietly she “picked up a tent peg and a hammer and. . . drove the peg through his temple into the ground and he died.”

“. . . Then the land had peace forty years.”

Whoa! Don’t ever think Hollywood murder mysteries have anything on the Old Testament stories.   

Why Did We Have to Hear This Story?

We need to know when God goes before us by His grace, our conflicts, problems, and dilemmas are defeated. He gives us victory over our enemies. So, let’s never forget, all our associations with God’s enemies must be broken once and for all.

Deborah understood this.

Deborah’s complete story can be found in the Holy Bible, the Book of Judges, Chapter 4. And if you love poetry, the story is retold in Chapter 5, titled, The Song of Deborah.