What Exactly Will Make Us Happy?

Some people are so thrilled by road trips, they hop in their SUV or camper and head off to a new adventure, as if they have never traveled! There are those who plan weeks ahead exactly where and when they will go, and others who are so spontaneous they get an idea and just pick up and “Go.” Good for them!

There are approximately 2.7 million miles of paved roads in the United States. That is a lot of traveling to do without some kind of map and direction. Of course, we all know people who rather take the risk without one. Sometimes, they never get to where they are going. Sometimes they do, but get so sidetracked, it can take a lifetime of confusion and pain along the way. We’ve all taken a few of those side trips!

Many of us want to get to the place called Happiness (which is entirely different than the real town of Happy, TX, and the 1999 comedy movie of the same name). The location we are talking about here is a state of mind. It’s a feel-good emotion we all want to grab onto.

Happiness vs. Joy

Before we go any further, let’s just be clear. Many, many things or places will make us happy and that’s a good thing. No sad frowns here. But we need to realize, happiness is temporary. So what exactly makes us happy?

• Chocolate does it for most of us
• The first spring bloom in our garden
• A good book on a sunny day on our porch
• Visiting an art gallery
• Going to the movies
• Raindrops and snowflakes
• Wiggling our toes in sand
• Our favorite song on the radio
• A good restaurant meal

On the other hand, when we experience joy, we know we have a permanent and wonderful gift. Something we never want to let go of and will cherish forever. Where do we find joy?

• The touch of a newborn baby
• Sunrises and sunsets
• Newfound faith
• The smell of rain approaching
• God’s love
• The voices of our children
• The peace of Jesus
• Family
• All the promised blessings of God

The Best Road Trip of All

Life is an exciting adventure, but we need to be aware of roadblocks and dangers along the way. A map is always handy to prevent getting stuck at a dead end. Thankfully, we have a Guide and an entire Book of Maps.

Even if it took a little while to get here, we can now abundantly bask in each and every stop on the way to Happiness via a little place called Joy and a Guide named Jesus.

You have shown me the way of life, and you will fill me with the joy of your presence. Acts 2:28

How Can I Move On?

Here’s some thought-provoking questions for today: why do we all enjoy music so much? What exactly does it do to us? Most people would say because it makes them happy. And that is certainly true. But why? Because music is upbeat, inspirational, and it makes us want to move to the beat.

But deeper than that, it is because nearly every single piece of music or song is about love. Have we ever heard of music that spews hate? Not very likely. Who would listen to or buy that kind of music? Of course, we have heard music that is pretty bad and that contains distasteful lyrics once upon a time, but it is not the cultural norm by any means. It is not uplifting. It doesn’t make one want to turn the radio on.

Bringing Out Our Best

We know love has certain qualities we all want to experience. Like patience, kindness, hope, trust, and protection. What we don’t want is anyone in our life that acts with envy, rudeness, selfish pride, and anger. Unlike hatred and an unforgiving nature, love always brings out our best.

In our previous relationship, particularly towards the end, we suffered enough hatred on both sides to last a lifetime. It affected everyone; our spouse, our children, our extended family, friends and, of course, ourselves. Hopefully, we have given ourselves enough space and time to physically move on. But we may still be feeling the emotional pain. We now need to give ourselves a break from all that hostility and hatred.

Sometimes, the anger that remains is there because we haven’t given ourselves the gift of forgiveness by forgiving him. Remember, forgiveness is not condoning what he did. It’s not saying it was o.k. to act that way. It’s just acknowledging the person for who he is, accepting that a person is able to change with or without our input, and extending love above our own feelings.

Forgiveness is for us. When we choose to act with love and kindness, we will avoid more and more hatred. Our heart will begin to heal and won’t continually be wounded over and over. We will catapult into a life of happiness, joy, and love. And then, we can experience love in the future without any residual effects from a previous relationship.

Questions to Sleep On

Learning to love with forgiveness in our pockets expands into all our other relationships. Is the world not experiencing a lack of love right now? You bet it is. What would happen if we gave our neighbors, co-workers, and relatives the benefit of the doubt? We would both come to a better understanding. How would it change things if we stopped and found out what is going on in their world? Our reasoning would be clearer. We might even be shocked. It would break our selfish hearts. Peace and harmony seems much more attractive right about now!

Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses. Proverbs 10:12

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Who Believes in You Today?

Receiving a job promotion can be exciting. And it doesn’t matter if we advance to head waitress, senior saleswoman, or the CEO; we are finally being recognized for our ability. That’s a big deal because it means someone believes in us. We know we worked hard and long for this day. It meant overtime hours in some cases, but we were dedicated and did what we had to do to get the job done. We did it!

Subsequently, we may be asked to give up some old ways of doing things and learn new policies or programs that fit our position. We may be asked to supervise other employees. We may even be given authority to hire and fire people. New skills will be required; it’s all part of the agreement if we want to become part of the work family.

We All Have Choices

It was our choices over a period of time that brought the vote of confidence and a promotion our way. We could have gone many different directions, but we made the best decisions and ended up right where we had hoped. It’s never easy to map out a future and stick with the steps that will eventually take us there. It takes perseverance, patience, and character.

Your character is essentially the sum of your habits.

(Pastor Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life)

Recommended First Steps to Success

• Know yourself and your needs
• Get the right education
• Go after a job that suits you
• Believe in yourself   
• Keep orderly balance in your life: God, family, work
• It’s up to you to live in peace with everyone
• Grow up, but never give up!

We Get the Best Gift of All

God chose us (we didn’t choose Him) before we were even born to become His children. He offers us a better “position”--a new life--to spend eternity with Him. It isn’t anything we do, it is just a wonderful gift from Him. It is our choice to accept His offer and enjoy the best life we could possibly imagine as his precious daughters--once and for all!

It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone. Ephesians 1:11 (The Message)

How to Describe Your Faith Possibilities

Flat Earth?

We are mentally able to believe in many things. Some commendable and some ridiculous. There still remains a society that believes the earth is flat! In 1995, a patent was given for a Fork Alarm to time one’s eating! Now there’s something we could use. How many people do we know that are superstitious? All it takes to believe some things is a faith conviction that it is possible.

More reasonable, we often believe people we know. We may or may not have had parents we believed could do just about anything, based on how much we trusted them. Growing up, we believed teachers, grandparents, siblings, friends, and our pastors. We may or may not have had a spouse we could trust, until one day we couldn’t anymore, based on their lack of integrity.

What About Faith?

Faith, therefore, is built on trust and knowledge. It isn’t something we can see or touch, but it is something that is unseen, like the wind. We can feel the wind, and so, we believe it exists. We know what it “feels like” to trust someone and so, over time, we believe in that person.   

It’s been said that “faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains.” Of course, that statement is not to be taken literal. It is just pointing out that it takes very little faith in something or someone to believe.

As single-again women, we have already “jumped over” many hurdles and stumbling blocks in our way. Our journey to a fresh start has not been easy by any means. But we found a way to grow that tiny mustard seed, and now we are watching it bloom large in our life. And we must keep on growing and thriving. So, how do we do that?

Seven Proven Descriptions of Faith Possibilities

• We are stronger than we think: we have made it this far and are in one piece.
• We have seen the worse in someone: we know that trust is built up over time.
• We have a clear purpose: we are starting to recognize unfulfilled dreams.
• We know which direction to take: going forward gets us to our destination.
• We know the risks: lack of faith in God leads to danger.
• We recognize where faith originated: just like the wind, we can believe in Jesus.
• We can know and trust God: the Bible teaches us how to do this very thing.

He Gets Us!

No matter how many times our human relationships have hurt or deceived us, our Lord Jesus knows our heartache and pain. He was distressed and rejected by his own friends and family. He was tormented and tortured by his enemies. He gets us!

He loved us enough to be willing to die for us. And this is exactly why we can, with faith, believe Him and trust in Him.. Now, He simply holds out His right hand to comfort and guide us on this fresh start journey.           

“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.” Mark 9:23

Who Is Your Architect?

The oldest house in America, built in the year 1637 in Massachusetts, still stands after eight generations of families. What amazing construction and solid foundation it obviously had from the beginning, and, there wasn’t even any Home Depot in those days! The owner (architect) surely required the workers (builders) to listen to his direction and wise expertise. The result still remains!

Attempting to build our own haven--our safety zone--without the correct tools, materials, and know-how will quickly shake our foundation to the core. We want our new life to stand on its own for a very long time. Like a home built on solid rock. We want to do all we can to protect and secure a better future.  

Blueprint Examiner

Putting some effort into finding out what went wrong in our past, will prevent us from repeating the same mistakes. It will give us insight into how to readjust and improve our thinking and actions in any new relationship. This is not a “blame and shame” game. There is no room for that here. This is an honest look at the blueprint that wasn’t right for us from the beginning.

We start by asking ourselves some hard, but important questions. We are all different women with unique situations. So, the answers must come from our own open, frank, and sincere observation of ourselves. Without spending time finding the answers to these questions, the “new” home will mysteriously feel just like the “old” home.

• Have I really given myself enough time to heal?
• What problems haven’t been resolved?
• What unmet personal goals do I need to work on?
• Am I ready yet for another relationship?
• How long ago did I meet this new man?
• Have I spent family dinners, holidays, and get-togethers with him?
• Do we have the same faith and beliefs?
• Have I prayed about discernment in this relationship?
• Have I seen him at his best, as well as worse?
• If there are children, do we get along with each others’ children?
• Is there affection on both sides?

These are by no means all the issues to consider when approaching another marriage in the future. We are smart women and now know what we need in a relationship, and what we don’t. How we get the relationship God intends for us will require caution, personal examination, and daily conversation with God.    

Get the Best Architect

God wisely advises us to listen to Him and follow His direction. He asks this of us so that we will be protected under His loving hand. . .so that we will have adequate shelter from the storms of life that threaten to destroy us.

The best blueprint for our home on earth is recorded in the pages between Genesis through Revelation in the Bible. Be sure to check this Answer Book.          

Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Matthew 7:24

What Dream Are You Anxious to Begin?

We may be asking now, “What am I to do with the rest of my life?” Now is the perfect time to pick ourselves up and start doing what we were always meant to do. Not the everyday housework or home improvement projects, but the dream that never became real. The one passion that excites us just thinking about it. The plans that were interrupted by our own fear or others’ dreams.

Buried Treasure

If we think we can’t even remember the dream, that’s not really true. It’s there, but just so far back in the corner of our mind we can’t seem to find it right now. It’s like an old attic or garage that no one has visited in a very long time. The dust has thickly settled and the cobwebs are obscuring the view.

The “treasure box of ideas” we once doodled and sketched over and over is simply hidden under piles of old reasons, doubts, and fears. Maybe valid explanations at the time we closed the lid on our dreams, but no more. We are now responsible for our own future again.

Life in Reverse (an abbreviated exercise)

There are many ways to uncover and “dust off” the ideas and plans we once dreamed about everyday. But one very effective way has been used by doctors and career coaches everywhere. This is not an exact science, so feel free to make small adjustments to the basic layout.

Prep: if you like writing things out, use any type notebook. If you are a visual person, use a poster board and a marker to draw this out.

Steps:

• List all the years of your life in reverse leaving space underneath each one.
• Go in reverse all the way back to elementary school. If it is easier, it’s o.k. to group them in three or five-year segments. For example, 2017-2012; 2011-2007; etc.
• Underneath each one, briefly record any and all activities, hobbies, interests, job descriptions, and achievements that you absolutely enjoyed doing or were passionate about for each specific group of years. Very Important: if an activity appears in several years, repeat that description.
• Do not rush! Keep thinking. Go back and add more as they come to mind no matter how silly. This could take a few days.
• When completely done listing, go back with a red pen/marker and circle any words that are the same or similar over ALL the years.
• Last, take all the circled words and write them into a separate list, in the order of most favorite on the top and your least favorite on the bottom.
• Done! You now have your top three most favorite activities all the way back to childhood. This is a very strong indication of what you should be pursuing. These are your natural gifts and abilities. Your dreams!

There are many books on the subject of careers and special gifts on the market that will expand on this same type of research. Keep at it and find what you were meant to do with your life!

First Things First

God has plans for us and they, most assuredly, coincide with our dreams. If we are in contact with Him on a daily basis through prayer, and keep our ears, minds, and hearts open to His direction, He will show us where to go and what to do. We don’t have to guess. He will make our paths straight after they have been crooked for, perhaps, years.

The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Psalm 37:23