Something Out of the Ordinary

Take a breath!

Dogs and cats are some of the most patient creatures on earth. If trained right, they wait for their food, a walk, or attention when we click off our computers and notice their sad eyes. These domestic darlings look forward all day long for their owner to return home (even if they start running in circles when they hear the key in the door). They may not enjoy the wait, but they never give up! 

Animals don't need a box of tissues to dry away tears. Oh, no, they go and play with their toys, look for bugs to eat, take a nap, and yes, maybe tear up the couch in their enthusiasm. But give up? Never. It's probably why we enjoy them so much--they are optimistic, even if they experience a cruel situation of abuse and neglect! We could learn something from our pets.

Too often, though, we humans conveniently use excuses to avoid getting better, getting over, or getting out. It just seems a lot easier to give up hope and stop trying at all. Our lives have changed drastically after divorce, losing a spouse, or becoming a single mom, and all the energy we have left is spent trying to figure out exactly how it happened. But the truth is, we may never know the whole story. 

Maybe we should try to write down what is so great about quitting and abandoning our dreams. The page would most certainly be blank because there is nothing good about breaking off a piece of our life and throwing it away. Nothing we would want to admit. Isn’t it time to change all this for the better?

If you have ever had the fortune to buy a Chanel suit, hat, dress, bag, or perfume, you probably know the designer and fashion icon, Coco Chanel. Her life-lessons story of poverty to riches is fascinating (if interested in more, pick up the book, The Gospel According to Coco Chanel by Karen Karbo, or check out the movie, Coco Before Chanel). She didn't just put on one of her handmade hat creations, opened her eyes, and was instantly rich and famous by any means. Coco Chanel once said something very inspiring for us on her way to success, “Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.” 

In other words, if something--our life, job, home, finances, etc.--isn't working, don’t give up; try something out of the ordinary! Each one of us can create our unique solution based on our personality and situation. What works for one, may not be the answer for another. It’s been said, “The last key in the bunch opens the lock,” so let’s keep trying until we find the correct “key.” We can all uncover the courage inside us and just refuse to fail! Don't misunderstand, this is not a rose garden by any means. Low moments or seasons of unrest can not be avoided. They will always be a fact of life. We can, however, adjust our thinking and find appropriate ways to successfully get back on our feet. Like Coco Chanel, the life-changing question for us is, why do I continue to bang my head against a brick wall? That might be suitable for framing!

Tip of the Day

Another famous story is the one of Esther, a beautiful, young Jewish woman who became a real Queen. She did not have a perfect life, nor an easy one. Esther was not born with a large 401K account. She was an orphan until her cousin adopted her. After she was crowned the Queen and wife of the King of Persia (at his insistence), she went on to fight for her people to become free from slavery. It was a long and difficult, but successful, battle. Her secret? Esther never gave up! (Her true story is found in the Holy Bible). The amazing outcome of her life was all planned by God. Like He was with Esther, He is always on our side. Always. God has written our stories in our hearts. It’s time to speak to Him about it.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13 NLT).

Dense Fog Ahead

The Sun is on Its Way

It is difficult to see our way clearly as we navigate a new life. It is like passing through the worst fog we can imagine and getting nowhere. Lots of questions. “Is my life ever going to be right again?” “How am I supposed to get back to normal--whatever that is--after such a devastating and heart-breaking ending?” Certainly, it would be much easier to just throw up our hands and scream, “It’s never going to be the same again, so why try?”

It does appear that way when we can't see past the fog of change. And it is scary! We naturally resist transformation in any form, whether it's good for our hearts, minds, and souls or not. But here's the stinging question: Do we want the same unloving relationship? The one with little or no affection. The one that lost its electrifying touch. No, of course not. We would prefer the charming one we married, but not the morphed version. Never that! 

Lasting Improvement is Possible!

 
Afterwards, the sun comes out and we see the light of how our lives can breathe without all the hurt attached. The possibility is very attractive. What we miss sometimes is every single person on the face of this earth (yes, even us!) shifts, shuffles, and settles from day to day. Minute by minute. Inch by inch. Just like a home, even after fifty years, the foundation is still settling. It is a fact of life. We could hire a home expert to possibly improve the foundation and make it more stable. Buildings can undergo amazing renovations. But what about people? Can we change others all by ourselves?

The eye-opening truth is: We cannot change each other! Ever. Practice saying that one out loud. This is where we get into trouble. We want the other person to stop how they are acting or what they are becoming. We want to play God and create a “robot” of our exact, perfect man or friend. But we are not machines or animals that can be trained to perform better. We can only change ourselves and our response to that person. Each individual who desires change must look in the mirror and say, “I've got a problem, and I need to fix it.” Until that happens, no lasting improvement is possible. It is like banging our heads against a brick wall. Useless. And it hurts! So, we can suppose, then, that further pain isn't what we want deep down inside.

However, those "bricks" are useful for building a better life! We can start at this very point in time and go forward with our "trowel" in hand. What that "architecture" looks like will be different for each one of us. 

• Some of us will seek and share a new, mature relationship with all the perks.
• Some will plant a nurturing seed first and encourage growth on an individual level.
• Some will find outlets for creative expression in education, work, and extracurricular activities that are more important to them at the moment.

There are no incorrect or flawed blueprints here. Only that we never let the momentum stop! 

Tip of the Day

Who can we talk to about our exciting plans? "Fear not, dear child of mine," God seems to say with outstretched arms. “I am here. If you only let me, you will see how this will all work out. I have a plan and a purpose for you, I promise. Let's sit down and talk.” Can't we just hear him saying that to us right now?

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen” (Jeremiah 29:11-12 The Message).

Not Just a Crazy Notion

Ready to learn?

In the fall, regardless of age, many people take steps into their future and begin new college classes. In 2021, a reported [National Center for Education Statistics] 8.9 million undergraduate females accounted for most college students (fifty-eight percent) and embarked on a new journey! That is progress in a big way considering there were no colleges accepting women in America until after 1800! Education is not something to take for granted.

With advancements in many areas (for instance, the 19th Amendment in 1920 or Title IX in 1972) onward movement has been rapid. Today, more undergraduate and advanced degrees are earned by women than men. That is a fact [again, go to NCES] and is something to celebrate! This mini-history lesson simply says we are all thirsty for learning and can readily recognize the benefits.

Single-again women, especially, would gain much towards their future if education became a priority. Some of us never had the chance to go to college. Some started college and were never able to finish for one reason or another. Life got in the way. We understand but it is never too late!

We can all find a way to make that dream come true. First, find out what you are naturally good at doing (there are plenty of books out there to show you how) because nothing is worse than working at a job for the rest of your life and hating every minute of it! By the way, if you are already retired, don’t think this doesn’t apply to you! There are plenty of life-long learning “fun” courses at your local community college. Remember, life-improvement never comes too late. It shows a lot of confidence and endurance on our part. We can handle more than we think. What else is more important?

Tip of the Day

One more tidbit about history: during the 1800s in New England, due to the lack of books, many believed it was necessary to study the Holy Bible, so both boys and girls were taught to read from it early. This began an unquenchable thirst for education.

Our Heavenly Father has a fascinating and supernaturally powerful instruction book for us that provides, among other things, wisdom, poetry, and history freely given. The Bible is a way to start building a new life. A life that teaches how to trust God, and gain once and for all, the real truth. It can help us understand all aspects of our lives as special women. He knows the best path to take in our quest to become what we always dreamed of was possible. The required reading in this “educational” course is compiled of sixty-six books into one complete lesson on love.

“Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take” (Proverbs 3:6 NLT).