How to Build a Life from What You Have

Find a gear and take off!

There are as many funny stories about how a child (who us?) learns to ride a bicycle as there are wheels in a factory. It's likely the first dramatic event in our lives once we conquer how to walk! True, it may hurt (depending on how many times we fall) but most children wipe their tears and determinedly get back on the bicycle. Then comes the much-anticipated result when we finally speed down the road with our hair flying! 

    

We may remember those days trying to learn all we could to become independent even if it hurt. As an adult, it wasn't much different when we fought through the pain, agony, and determination just to get to a better place in our lives as single-again women. But we did it! Now what? 

What Gear Is Next?

Someone once said, "It's what you do after [the] mess that counts." That is very good advice whether on a bicycle or in life. Sure, it does take time to move through a period of adjustment and it's not always the most pleasant thing we've ever done. But it's necessary, otherwise, we will remain in a state of despair leading to the debilitating world of depression. And no one wants that, ever!

Basically, there are two different kinds of situations where we come from in this chapter of our lives. We either:

(a) have known for a very long time that we would be dealing with a separation of some sort such as a pending divorce or the terminal illness of a spouse. In these instances, we probably have been planning in some way for the outcome. We are not saying it is any easier just because we have known it, just that we are aware. 

(b) it is sudden, and sometimes, a shocking event that catches us off-guard. In this instance, we may initially tend to panic and/or experience anger which is entirely normal. Having people we trust near-by to help navigate the days ahead makes it easier to reach a sense of peace and a clear head.  

New Gears to Try  

After an initial period of grieving our loss, we may have a pretty good idea of what we want to do now with our lives. Or not. Each situation is different, and we are not here to tell you when or how to begin a new life. We are here only to support and encourage you in whatever direction you want to go. 

We've been there and hope some of these ideas may find you anxious to build something new:

Take baby steps and don't be afraid to try new things.

Grieving can be lonely so it's okay to join a support group.

Find a new hobby. Experts say creativity is a healing art.

Be sure to get plenty of sleep. It's important for the brain.   

Focus on your health and keep moving.

Keep this in mind: "Life is like a 10-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use." (Charles Schulz, Peanuts cartoon)

Faith is Your Best Friend!

Coffee with a friend. Yummy!

Now is the time to enjoy friends even just for a simple cup of coffee or tea. God, in fact, provides us with these friendships that cross our path. It is how He gives us warmth and comfort along with a way to talk things through with those who might be just one or two steps ahead of us in their own grieving journey. Hold out your hand; God will take you there!

"So don't lose a minute in building on what you've been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others" (2 Peter 1:5-7 MSG).