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| Small sparks lead to big fires |
No one would ever want
their world to go up in dense, choking smoke with flames out of control.
Yet, it happens to homeowners more often than we can imagine. Currently,
in the drought-stricken Southwest, there are massive and multiple fires in California,
Arizona, Colorado, and New Mexico. Fires
do leave devastation in their paths with thousands and thousands of acreage damaged.
It only takes one small spark to set off a fire that can destroy lives. Tragically, fires may start accidentally or on purpose through man-made carelessness. Other times it is the result of a lightning storm that spreads destruction for miles and miles all the while rain is badly needed.
It only takes one small spark to set off a fire that can destroy lives. Tragically, fires may start accidentally or on purpose through man-made carelessness. Other times it is the result of a lightning storm that spreads destruction for miles and miles all the while rain is badly needed.
Ironically, there are
occasions when the fire begins inside us through the use of our tongues. It's
true. With all we have experienced as single-again women struggling to get to
this particular point in our lives, we may often lose control of the hurtful
words that come out of our mouths before we can stop them.
"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."
(Charles R. Swindoll)
Many women harbor anger inside especially now. It’s quite normal and part of the several stages of getting over a divorce including denial, depression, repairing the damage, and acceptance. Anger does not feel okay, but it is okay. Yes, we said it is okay. Remember, highly charged emotions like anger are part of us, however, that doesn't mean we should allow our highly charged days to destroy everything we have worked for nor to destroy others in our path. Who would that serve? Anger gets us nowhere fast. Of course, ignoring the anger and trying to "push" it down inside of us also doesn't work as it leads to more anger followed swiftly by depression.
The key to moving past a firestorm is changing our "firefighting” response. Not all "fires" are the same. First responders will tell us when one method isn't working, then we try something better.
5 Basic Tools to Put Out the Fire
We can’t expect every single day will be perfect just because we are on our own. We may have thought about, planned, and yearned for a new life like that when we were still married not knowing what to do about all the physical or psychological abuse displayed towards us or our children. Yes, we wanted a perfect life, but unfortunately, there is no such thing.
"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."
(Charles R. Swindoll)
Many women harbor anger inside especially now. It’s quite normal and part of the several stages of getting over a divorce including denial, depression, repairing the damage, and acceptance. Anger does not feel okay, but it is okay. Yes, we said it is okay. Remember, highly charged emotions like anger are part of us, however, that doesn't mean we should allow our highly charged days to destroy everything we have worked for nor to destroy others in our path. Who would that serve? Anger gets us nowhere fast. Of course, ignoring the anger and trying to "push" it down inside of us also doesn't work as it leads to more anger followed swiftly by depression.
The key to moving past a firestorm is changing our "firefighting” response. Not all "fires" are the same. First responders will tell us when one method isn't working, then we try something better.
5 Basic Tools to Put Out the Fire
We can’t expect every single day will be perfect just because we are on our own. We may have thought about, planned, and yearned for a new life like that when we were still married not knowing what to do about all the physical or psychological abuse displayed towards us or our children. Yes, we wanted a perfect life, but unfortunately, there is no such thing.
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| Healthy You |
We need to find that “better
method.” The one that will work for each one of us because we are all different
and unique. No one method will bring every woman happiness. This we know: What
works for one woman, won’t work for another. Therefore, we can suggest some starting
points, but it will be up to you personally to put your own “spin” on things.
Have fun with it! Be grateful that you are strong and courageous like never
before!
Try these “basic firefighting
tools” and then add your own:
Community. Stay in touch with others. Isolation multiplies problems.
Goals. Concentrate on what you want to see happening in your life.
Change. Embrace something new: home, job, holidays, or hair-do.
Health. Now is the time to take control and beat that ____ (fill in).
Connection. Find a church home and discover who you are.
Goals. Concentrate on what you want to see happening in your life.
Change. Embrace something new: home, job, holidays, or hair-do.
Health. Now is the time to take control and beat that ____ (fill in).
Connection. Find a church home and discover who you are.
Love Like No Other
Never believe you are
not valuable to God! He cares deeply for you as a woman. And He cares what
happens to you, even now. Nothing can divert His attention from you. In fact,
the Bible says that nothing in heaven or on earth can separate His love from
you. Ever!
God truly understands what we have gone through. Whether it was ten days ago, or ten years ago, He is right beside us holding our right hand in His! It's simply amazing how much He loves each one of us. Has anyone else ever literally died on a cross to save you from yourself? Jesus stretched out His arms and did just that!
"It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell" (James 3:5-6 The Message).
God truly understands what we have gone through. Whether it was ten days ago, or ten years ago, He is right beside us holding our right hand in His! It's simply amazing how much He loves each one of us. Has anyone else ever literally died on a cross to save you from yourself? Jesus stretched out His arms and did just that!
"It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell" (James 3:5-6 The Message).
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