Seasons of Growing

We all have preferences on how to do certain things, especially in our own homes. Some women want absolutely nothing sitting on top of the bare kitchen counters creating a type of minimalist room, while others might want to put away the small appliances but display their most beautiful canisters for aesthetic reasons. It makes them happy!

Maybe we like decorating with lots of colors and our neighbor next door enjoys a neutral black and white palette. A crazy “fad” in the 1960s showed up in homes to cover all one’s living room furniture in clear plastic! Sticky in the summer and cold in the winter to sit on kept not only the dirt off the couch but also any house guests! Truly, choice makes the world an interesting place, indeed.      

The one personal choice that seems so amusing—or maybe irritating to some—is whether to place bathroom toilet paper in the “over” or the “under” position! How many of us can admit shaking our heads while visiting a home that displayed the opposite of what we prefer in our bathroom? Or the same situation at a place of business. Have you ever actually changed that roll to the other side thinking someone incorrectly placed it? Okay, it’s always great to have something to laugh about. Go right ahead, it will feel great!  

Blooms of Every Kind

The truth is personal choices are not always so humorous. When we were much younger, and maybe not very mature, we all made plenty of mistakes. Everything from skipping classes in college (or even dropping out for no good reason) to reckless drinking and driving, quitting a good job, getting married too young or buying a car or larger house than we could afford. The list is endless.

We’ve all been there in varying degrees and activities. And we learned. Eventually, we learned to do what was right, even if it took us years. Isn’t that where we are right now? As single-again women, we have made necessary decisions to better our lives. Our choices haven’t been easy by any stretch of the imagination, but we can find joy in new beginnings.

Of course, we still have plenty to learn because life is a continual teacher. If we keep an open mind, a warm heart, and an energetic spirit, our lives will flourish like a well-watered garden. This is no time to sit back and do nothing. 

Assuming we want to thrive and prosper, it will require effort every single day. There used to be a lovable saying that appeared on all sorts of decorative items that could apply here: Bloom where you are planted. Our “garden” may be in a different location now, but with tender love and care, we can grow both “annuals” for one season and “perennials” that last for a very long time. Here are some “seeds” to get us going:  

                     

“Annuals”

Taking community college classes

Seasonal work to supplement income

Downsizing our home

Visiting a salon and getting a new look

“Perennials”

Improving our health

Asking for that promotion

Establishing a monthly budget

Finding/joining a church home

Coming and Going

Whatever choices we need to make to get where we want to go, it can’t and won’t happen by ourselves. If we want our lives to improve at all, we need a Gardener for life. God is the One who cares about us coming and going, over and under, past, present and future, beginning to end. He is the Vine, we are the branches and we need His nourishment every single day: fall, winter, spring, and summer.

“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more” John 15:1-2 NLT.          

Standing For the Answer

This week in America we are reminded of what it means to be an American. Tomorrow, September 11th is Patriot Day. The time when we stop for at least a bit of time to remember those who died or were injured on our own soil during the terrorist attacks in 2001. Later this month on Friday, September 21st, we do the same thing for National POW/MIA Recognition Day.

It’s never a time to celebrate, of course. However, these are days when we can fly our flag with its red and white stripes and 50 stars against a blue background with pride. Why is it important to observe these days? It’s knowing we still stand to support our country no matter what we have gone through in the past. We are America strong! And the men and women who fight for us each day in our military know that better than anyone. We must not ever forget those who died for us or we have no choice but to repeat the past.

Standing Strong in Conflict

In our own lives, we too may have to fight personal battles to survive. We have already been through the worst possible conflict just getting to this point. Every day can be a struggle, especially when we are on our own. It’s a complicated problem to figure out the best way to do things. So many questions yet to find answers for. What do I do next? Should I change jobs or find a job? Which way do I turn? What city do I want to live in? How do I deal with my ex-in-laws where the kids are concerned? Who gets the kids for vacations? And it goes on and on.     

But we don’t have to fight our skirmishes alone. Believe it or not, the CDC reports there are nearly 814,000 divorces currently. That figure actually seems low considering there are 2.1 million marriages. No longer is it a “secret” to be kept in the closet. Regardless, that is plenty enough to find at least a few other women in our same situation.

Join Your Heart With Others

There is simply no need to wrestle by ourselves constantly fighting battles. Just like our military, no one could possibly survive such odds. So the time is now to talk to someone. It could be a close family member or trusted friend that will just listen while we “vent.” It could be a professional counselor, a pastor/minister, or a support group. The idea is not to “do life” with no one on your side.  

Others who have gone through different stages of a break-up will have ideas, suggestions, things we haven’t thought of yet, and important steps for us to take to re-create a better life. If we choose to retreat and hide-out, so that no one recognizes we are fighting a losing battle, our strength will atrophy like muscles that are never exercised. We can also waste time running around in circles trying to find solutions that will work for us. Or not. And aren’t we plain sick and tired of that kind of life?

Needed R&R

Yes, we have faced personal attacks of humiliation, psychological abuse and maybe even physical abuse, as well as abandonment, loss of affection, and destruction of faithfulness. We faced our Enemy! And now we can raise our flag of endurance, strength of character, and determination. But remember, we didn’t do it alone then. God was right by our side, holding our right hand the entire time. And we can’t go forward alone either!

“Are you tired? Worn out?. . .Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” Matthew 11:28-30 MSG.