What Do You Do When Feeling Defeated?

Cooking classes are sweet!

Most people want to belong to something important where they can make a difference. Many of us join clubs of all kinds. There are groups for moms, book lovers, students, sewing, art, cooks, writers and on and on. Being part of one helps to encourage and educate us.

Sometimes we have ideas that don’t seem to work out in our own efforts. We need the assistance of others to see how they do things we’ve never thought of as a solution. We learn as our hearts are warmed by their friendliness. All of a sudden, the project we want to work becomes easier. And we breathe.

Beach Balls Don’t Talk Back

We were never meant to do things all alone. What would be the point anyway? If we want to share some new idea, who would we share it with? Want to help out in our neighborhood? How would we do it alone? We simply can not become a hermit on a deserted island.

The 2000 movie, Cast Away with Tom Hanks, showed no one can survive without connecting with someone. . .or in this case, with something. Hanks named a beach ball Wilson; he just needed to have a conversation with something other than himself. The movie gets a little crazy after that, but we get the point.

Living alone can be very similar. How many of us have found ourselves talking out loud to, well, nothing in particular. Of course, we don’t expect an answer (hopefully not), but, strangely, it seems to help every now and then even though the sound of our own voice in the silence may startle us.

Feedback is Important

Where we really need to hear an answer is when we are hurting, in trouble, feeling defeated, or we just want to express ourselves and get feedback other than our own. A friend who has been through all the mess in life may have insight for us. She can be our backup support when we are dealing with oh! so many dilemmas. And, in turn, we can be hers.

Without friends to share things with, we leave ourselves open to the worst thinking patterns. We remember how very bad our lives have gone and imagine how they will never get any better. We begin to see ourselves in the darkness without hope. This kind of gloomy thinking can catapult us right into depression in its many forms.

If we are shy or an introvert, it may not be easy to step out and make new friends. Even if we are the social type, moving to a new town or a new job can make us feel reserved and less than confident. It may help to start with this list of ways to join in with others.

• Exercise/walk/jog in the same place every day. Others will eventually make contact with you and it will give your smile a workout too.
• Find a church home where everyone is friendly.
• Join a class, team, or club. It’s a ready-made group who likes the same things.
• Attend lectures, book signings, poetry groups. A different version of the one above.
• Accept invitations for coffee or a movie after connecting with someone.

Keep adding to this list and soon your pet will wonder why her food bowl is empty all the time!

Post this beautiful Scripture verse on your refrigerator:

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT)