A Triple Mark of Friendship

Three are even better

Most women want to belong to something important where they can make a difference. Some of us join clubs of all kinds. There are groups for moms, book lovers, students, fitness fans, sewing, art, cooks, and writers. You name it, and a band of women is out there looking for others to share their interests meaningfully. Participating in a great group helps to hold us up when we’re having the worst of days. It supports our creative ideas and gives us a place to grow as we, in turn, encourage others. Sharing is what it is all about. We find out, we are not the only “daffy” ones trying to do something positive in our lives. It can be done.

The key here is we were never meant to do things all alone. What would be the point? If we were excited to share some new idea, who would we share it with? What if we had a desire to help out in the neighborhood? How difficult would it be to do it alone? Becoming a hermit on a deserted island is not as simple or attractive as one might think. We are sure it would become quite lonely, and boring, and could do strange things to our minds. 

The popular 2000 movie, Cast Away with Tom Hanks, demonstrates no one can survive for long without connecting with someone, or in this case, with something. Hanks named a beach ball Wilson; he just needed to have a conversation with something other than himself. The movie gets a little crazy after that, but we get the point.

Living alone can be very similar. How many of us have found ourselves talking out loud to, well, nothing or no one in particular? Of course, we don’t expect to hear an audible answer from someone who is not there (hopefully not). Strangely though, it seems to help now and then to answer ourselves, even though the sound of our voice in the silence may startle us! 

Better still, sitting with a friend when we are hurting, in trouble, feeling defeated or dejected, or when we just want to express ourselves and get feedback other than our own, will go a long way to arriving at a quiet place. A friend who has been through similar messes in life may have some amazing insight for us. She can be our backup support when we are dealing with oh! so many predicaments, choices, and tough questions. And, in turn, we can be hers.

Without family or friends to share things with, we leave ourselves open to the worst possible thinking patterns. Even self-destructive ones. We dwell on how bad our lives have gone and imagine they will never get any better. We can see no possibilities at all. Seeing ourselves in the darkness without hope can catapult us right into the many forms of depression. 

If we are shy or introverted, it may not be easy to step out and make new friends. Even if we are the social type, moving to a new town, new job or new home can make us feel reserved and less than confident. It may help to start with this list of ways to join in with others:

• Exercise/walk/jog in the same location every day. Others will begin to recognize us and, eventually, make contact. It will give our smile a workout too.
• Find a church home where the word of the day is "Welcome!"
• Join a class, team, or club. It’s a ready-made group that meets regularly and likes the same things making it enjoyable to connect.
• Attend lectures, book signings, and poetry groups. A different version of the one above, but easier as it is a one-time event and there is no commitment.
• Accept invitations for coffee or a movie after connecting with someone. Keep it safe by meeting in a public place.

Keep adding to this list and soon our pets will wonder why their food bowl is empty all the time!

Tip of the Day

“In the beginning God created. . .” He created us to love others and others to love us. We simply can not successfully do life alone! Post this beautiful Scripture verse on the refrigerator:

“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT).