Forging a New Way

Time does, in fact, seem to heal many things. This doesn’t mean everything will remain exactly the same as before the incident.

Take the Grand Canyon for instance; one of the most amazing sites in the world. According to the website www.livescience.com “The specific geologic processes and timing that formed the Grand Canyon spark lively debates by geologists. The general scientific consensus, updated at a 2010 conference, holds that the Colorado River carved the Grand Canyon beginning 5 million to 6 million years ago”.

This is not a lesson in science, though, and this author is not a geologist. So let’s just say that what we know is very simply stated as a major river flowing along for millions of years that forged deeper and deeper crevices--4,000 feet deep for 277 miles--that tourists now drop open their mouths and open eyes wide at seeing such a site for the first time. We might say it was the earth’s “dilemma” of major proportions. Over time, it has seemed to heal itself to the point that people can even hike to the bottom and back up again!

Cutting the Slack

In effect, an unexpected natural event caused a "blemish" in the earth, and time changed the scar forever, but didn’t destroy it. The river kept right on flowing and a canyon was formed. It was made beautiful again! In the same way, we ourselves can experience our own unexpected changes. Maybe we didn’t desire or encourage them to happen, yet we couldn’t seem to stop them.

"Be like a river. Be open. Flow." (Dr. Julie Connor, author of Dreams to Action Trailblazer's Guide)

If we don’t burrow ourselves into a tunnel for pretend “safety,” but instead face reality, time will not only heal us, but can make our lives beautiful again. The thing is, no one knows us like ourselves. We know the disasters and dilemmas we’ve recently faced better than anyone. And we know our own reactions to them. Some have worked, and some have not.

But either way, we must learn to cut ourselves some slack. Grand Canyon wasn’t made in a day! It developed over many, many years. True, we don’t have that much time, but we have enough to work with. So let’s see what we can do with the time we have been given.

• Stay Connected - find friends who will listen, not ones that bring you down.
• Get a Support Network - this is a group of other women who have gone through what you have and know the “ropes.”
• Adjust First - too many women tend to panic and jump right into another marriage after divorce. It can not be repeated enough, but here it is (and experts do agree): stay single for a year to adjust to your new situation. Then, you will know who you are, what you really want, and how to get it. No sense bringing old problems into a new relationship.

Baggage Is For The Airport

Most of us hate packing, enjoy the travel, and love the destination. How would you feel if when you arrived at a vacation spot (Grand Canyon, anyone?) and opened your suitcase, all you found was dirty laundry? Oops! Someone must have thought the laundry basket was full, so why not use this convenient suitcase! Yucky!

This is the same thing that happens when we start a new life and find we haven’t taken the time to “pack” what we need for a great “trip.” We carry old baggage like hurt, anger, revenge, and jealousy with us. We may even include guilt, depression, and anxiety on our backs. Where would we have any space for new people, places, and pleasures? We have to deal with the old in order to enjoy the new.

Are You Ready to Dance?

The Creator of the Grand Canyon, created time as well. God also created each one of us and He knows our past, present and future days.

He said, there is “A time to kill [check the old baggage list above again], and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up [a new life]. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance” Ecclesiastes 3:3-4 NLT.