Can't Get There From Here

 It may not be anything we want to face right now, but we certainly can't avoid the fact the calendar dates are moving quickly to a season of holiday events. It takes a few of these to figure out what to do about them as a single-again woman.   

Ban the Fluff Talk, This is For Real
One thing to know right away: there is life after a break-up! The truth: it's just a new life, it's not the old life, nor should we expect it to be. It's different, that's all. New timing, new plans, new ideas of how to do things, especially during the holidays. If we keep our emotions in check and use all the courage we can find, we can get through the next two or three months with joy. This is reality and it's up to us to use determination to make it happen.

Break the Stereotype
Once we get past the very real stages of divorce, such as denial, anger, grief, sadness, and acceptance, nothing is worse than the typical picture of a bitter and jaded woman. Actually, statistics show 75% of women prefer to be alone, successful, and happy than being unhappy in a marriage. And what's even more important, our children need to know we are o.k. and we can take care of them too.

Create New Memories
First, go to an office supply store and get a 16-month calendar covering the end of this year and all of next year. It's depressing to look at an old calendar! Fill it with new things to do for the season. 

Who says we have to keep all the old decorations around? Try donating it all to charity and start fresh! Don't forget to move the furniture around. It's uplifting!

Find some single-again friends and go to new places. No going to places that are familiar and from our past.

Throw a party and invite all our new friends. Include only old friends who are supportive. They will enjoy meeting new people too.

Cook for others...small dinners, holiday dinners, even Christmas Eve day breakfast. Challenge yourself to think of something different.

Holiday vacations (with or without the kids) are allowed. Not in the budget? Then have fun and visit several places in your own hometown. Rent a hotel room across town and live in luxury for a day or two. This is especially fun!

Be generous. Share the kids. Work out a schedule for this to happen. 

And finally, be grateful for new beginnings. We have a Helper Who lives inside us ever since we began a new life with Jesus as our Lord and Savior. That alone will give us all the support we need!

Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:23-24

Beautiful Reflections

Unfortunately, science was not a favorite subject of many of us in school. But some teachers had a way of making things interesting with a lesson in reflective surfaces. God bless teachers who have passion! 

Every Form Is Unique!

What made this demonstration so interesting was creating a favorite childhood toy: the kaleidoscope. Using ordinary objects like beads, glass and buttons along with mirrors and angles, the experiment created beautiful pictures inside a tube when held up to the light. 

The word kaleidoscope comes from Greek words meaning “beautiful form to see.” And none of the colorful designs in the school project were ever exactly the same twice! That is precisely how God sees us. Individually awesome!

Vision and Values 

Even if the person we lived with never appreciated our true beauty, talents or gifts, who says we have to accept that lack of vision? We have a chance to shatter any distorted image of ourselves by remembering: 

• Our value is not dependent on another person, whether that person is an ex-spouse, authority figure, or parent. On this earth, only you know you.
• One person can never change another person. We can only change our response to that person.  
• Love is a two-way street. One person can not injure a relationship. It's been said, "It takes two to tango!"
• No one can ever make God turn His back on us. 
• No power in heaven or earth can cut us off from His love. 

So now that we are on our own, we can do our souls good by drawing near to God and preparing for heaven while on earth. Nothing will give us more faith, hope, and confidence in knowing that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him."

Now, go on out and buy a kaleidoscope to celebrate your beautiful form! 

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Romans 8:31

Wrestling With the Sheets

Housekeeping is not exactly the first activity we think of when wanting to do something fun. But it has to be done if we want to live in something cleaner than the dirt in our yards, right? 

Now, putting sheets on a bed should be one of the easier weekly tasks. Yet, for some reason this week, it was a major struggle to get behind a bed that is surrounded by three walls in a small bedroom! It actually caused a silly anger issue. It is so very easy to allow ourselves to just “blow up” and over react at even the littlest things that invade our lives. 

So what was going on? 

Sometimes, it is our frustration or fear that turns a good day into an anxiety-filled boiling pot. Or maybe we didn't get enough sleep last night. All of what we have to go through alone is sometimes overwhelming. We have no one to lean on, no one to talk to, and no one who can help us to overcome all of our sticky problems. 

Yet, deep down inside, we know what we need the most. We need love. We need someone to say "It's o.k., let me do it." Wouldn't that be nice? We can take a break and a breath and call a friend for a short chat.  

Maybe we just have to face the fact, the sheets can wait until tomorrow. The dusting can wait until we are calmer. Maybe now is the time to step outside, soak up the sunshine (defeats depression by the way) and find a cloud God prepared just for us today because He loves us! He created many things like that for us. My favorite are Aspen trees.       

Growing into Love

Although we may not have a physical touch at the moment in our private lives, we can seek appropriate love from others by being involved and helping someone else to meet a need. We grow into love like that. Just this weekend I heard someone say they are the church Greeter because they need hugs. Love that! 

Getting involved on a regular basis with our church ministries, kids schools, hospitals, or the many community organizations that seek volunteers will fill us with more love than we could ever imagine. Simple formula: give love, get love. It really does work! 

Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:14

You've Got the Answer Now

In our ultra busy, keyboard world, how do we find enough hours to get anything done? Do we make time for what is important? Seems our ringtones and touch sounds would successfully remind us what to do and when since they are so “smart.” 

Are we ever satisfied with our imperfect lives? 

Many of us grew up under a firm hand that required perfection. Things had to be done exactly right at the exact time. This taught us to expect the world, our world, to never fall under a human mistake of any kind. We may have even lived with a spouse that expected the same thing in his wife. It created a lot of guilt and turned us into stressed-out women. 

That was then and this is now. 

Our lives may still feel like a whirlwind, but feelings can't really be trusted. They change from moment to moment. What is true is that you are a smart woman and that doesn't change! You've been through enough to know what you want now. You may not know quite how to get it just yet, but you have ideas running around in your head.

  

Great Idea!

Sit down and start a notebook. Get those what-do-I-do-now thoughts out of your head and onto paper. They will become real goals and the strain and pressure will stop giving you headaches. Get some colorful dividers for different categories important to you. Suggestions: Dreams, Designs, and Drawings. Plans, Patterns, and Projects. Keep going. Have fun with it! 

If you're a visual person, cut out photos from magazines and paste them into your notebook. If you are a tactile person, paint and do mixed-media pages. By the way, if there are still children at home, show them they can start their own Dream Notebook. You will help them get excited about life too.    

God did not mean for us to be so weary and worried. He has a lot to say about our needs, and being discontent with life is not one of them. 

Making ourselves frantic over if the pillowcases got white enough in the laundry will rob us of our joy. This is why it is so important to get in touch with God daily. First thing in the morning while the coffee, tea or hot chocolate is brewing is the perfect time to ask what plans He has for you today. He has an answer! 

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31