Tiny Ripples of Hope

Tiny Ripples of Hope Everyday

Every time you stand up for an ideal, you send forth a tiny ripple of hope. 

(Robert Kennedy)

Surely, we are ready to face the facts, get them out, and get them over with so we can move on. Any show of hands? Changing our status to single-again is no party, even if Hollywood says differently. It is still not a pretty picture, especially if we didn’t want or cause the separation or break-up. It ushers in activities like turning off the phone and pulling the covers over our heads for the next three months!

If we want to breathe, however, the covers must come off sooner rather than later. We are stronger than we sometimes feel or look. Certainly, after our morning cup of coffee, tea, or juice and a shower, the day seems much better. Getting dressed in something comfortable and colorful, doing our hair and makeup, and stepping outside for a walk will fill our lungs with oxygen as well as hope. Now, we can think clearly.

We Are Here to Stay

We can take this season of our lives and make all sorts of new plans, ideas, and traditions. Showing the world we are here to stay on our terms bolsters confidence! Remember, our lives don't have to paint a picture of perfection because no one’s life is that immaculate. Aiming for something better--something hopeful--is much more authentic. We can strive to simply live, breathe, and survive day by day with all the enthusiasm we can find. Living this way by what we choose to do and how we act accomplishes much toward our well-being. One definition of hope is "anticipating something good to come in the future." Ready to test that thought?

Any or all of these fun pick-me-ups could fit right into the hope-filled lives that we are reinventing (remember these are choices that bring benefits):

• Regularly connect with a friend who understands us.
• Change our thinking and celebrate our own life. Try simple things to cheer ourselves up: a new restaurant, a new route to work, a new workout center, a new quilt for our bed.
• Keep our sense of humor, even if we're not known as the funny type. Watch a comedy. Tell jokes with our kids. Share a funny story with a friend or family member.
• Keep an encouragement journal. As often as we can (morning or night), list a few things we are grateful for that bring us happiness or a kind word spoken on our behalf.
• Volunteer to help someone in need. Work at a thrift store that benefits abused women. Read to children or the elderly. Teach someone to dance.
• If we don't feel like cooking for family dinners, it is okay to bring a store-bought dish or flowers for the table. Really.

Hope is as real as looking up in the sky and seeing the sun. It's too far away to touch, yet we can feel its warmth every day. Hope is the confidence we have in things that are unclear or unseen. It's our inspiration!

Tip of the Day

First of all, the whole truth: God is the original source of all hope. He knew we would someday need all we could get. He offers it to us with hands outstretched! The Bible tells us that hope creates patience, courage, and joy. When we allow our hope to dwindle, we can easily understand why we have no energy to bring us encouragement. Without hope, we have nothing else. It is one of the three things that last: faith, hope, and [true] love.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13 NLT).

Too Many Grocery Carts in the Rack

Choose your cart

Thankfully our days are created in twenty-four-hour segments. If they were any longer, we might not be able to handle all of it because there are only so many problems and pressures to deal with before we collapse and need rest. A continual repeat of this kind of craziness will destroy our hopes and dreams. Of course, there are certain times when we wish we had more hours in the day just to get all the things on our To-Do lists done. But that is much like driving on one of those round-about traffic circles and not being able to get into the correct lane to get off!

There are thousands of things we constantly worry about without stopping. The car breaks down on the way home from getting groceries and everything melts, the hairdresser cuts our hair too short, the coffee maker decides it doesn’t want to make our morning brew when we need it, and the boss just announces we need to work overtime while we are walking out the door to go home to the kids, we can’t find our favorite blouse to wear to a job interview, and it goes on and on and on and. . . The trouble with all this commotion is the worries just stack together one upon the other from day to day like too many grocery carts in a rack. They get stuck together and it’s hard to release them. Today we are still worrying about all the things we didn’t tackle yesterday. Add that to today’s problems, plus start stressing over tomorrow’s fears, and “bingo” we have a major breakdown in the making.

The good news is we always have a choice to get into the correct lane. We can choose a different way to handle our daily anxieties and stop our nagging minds from calling out for attention. Worry is a habit we constantly entertain. It has almost become a cultural, inborn trait that creates a crisis when a solution is available if we only slow down and breathe, so we can think clearly. The constant adrenaline causes our nerves to tighten into knots, finally resulting in enough pain that we deeply desire a visit to the massage therapist.

Actually, our new lives can continue to improve if, with determination, we choose to find an answer to the anxieties that plague us. Those nervous “butterflies” in our stomachs are annoying and, instead of helping us to get things done as we might think, worry distracts us from accomplishing what we intend to do in the first place. Our focus becomes blurry. Our head starts swimming. Ever feel that way? 

We are not saying there will never be anything in our lives to care about again. Of course, there will be. But there is a difference between worry--which solves nothing and keeps us on that never-ending roundabout--and concern, which involves us in the solution of a problem. Concern causes us to be troubled enough to get up and do something about it. 

How do we begin to change the pattern? First, we have to understand many of the worries we have are human-made. We load our twenty-four-hour days with thirty-six hours of things to do. It’s impossible to keep up that pace! We get in a rush and cause accidents both at home and in public. We chase after more money and more things to keep up with the neighbors. We get in the way of the lives of others, instead of taking care of our quandaries. We need a plan. How about these:

• Prioritize daily to-do lists: A) urgent/most important; B) need to get done ASAP; or C) least important/back burner. Handle only one activity at a time! Well done!
• Plan appointments allowing enough time for each. A good way to do this is to work backward from the time of the appointment. Calculate how long it takes to get there (use a map app to make it easy), how long it takes to shower and dress. Don’t pile appointments and meetings up like wooden blocks. Blocks tend to tumble over like a Jenga game. It’s okay to say “No” when necessary!
• Pare back your home by clearing out trash, knick-knacks, and clothes that haven’t been worn in over two years; use an old-school monthly budget on paper just to see exactly where the money goes; and finally, create a special, unique space just for personal work or hobbies.

Tip of the Day

We have one perfect cure for all our worries and that is God himself. He already has a plan for our lives but waits for us to stop stressing and trust him; we love that: stop and trust! 

Just know He is not going to force Himself on us. For every single problem we face, God has the solution. It’s found in the Bible, His special message to us. This is how He communicates with us. All we need to be concerned about is caring for our inner souls (i.e., connecting with God every day).  

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:34 NLT).

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done" (Philippians 4:6-7 NLT).

[photo by pixabay.com images]

Holiday Break

Hello Fresh Start Momentum friends!

Raise your virtual hands if you ever needed a break from daily run-around!

Well I am needing to take a break so join me as holidays are about to begin. 

FSM will be back with another episode after December 1st.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Antics and Nonsense

Beautiful, but how intelligent?

When someone is considered intelligent, we often say they are “wise as an owl.” That phrase we define as a cliche and it is used so often that our curiosity has all but disappeared. Not only is such a grammatical hiccup non-creative, but we could make an enemy real quick when referring to a person in that manner. Why? Because owls, according to those wildlife experts who work with them, can not be trained to do even the simplest of tasks. Unlike parrots, hawks, pigeons, or even parakeets, who all can be taught to do a variety of amazing feats, owls are what we might lovingly refer to as mindless, as in unable to learn anything or be trained.

Without even knowing the facts above, many of us have used this common description (“wise as an owl”) solely based on how the beautiful owl species look. It is all in their enormous eyes compared to the size of their much smaller head. They simply look like they are focusing and paying attention to us, so we equate that with intelligence and describe them as wise. Especially when they turn their entire head to look at someone or something! Stunning!

There are many, many details we do not know about a lot of things. Most of us can readily admit to that idea, even though there has always been a myth that we only use ten percent of our brains (numerous scientists have proven otherwise). John Henley, a neurologist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, stated, "Evidence would show over a day you use 100 percent of the brain." The key to understanding this statement concerning the myth is that at any one time during the day, we may only use ten percent of our brain on a particular task or project.

Referring back to the “wise owl” comparison, nothing is more annoying than a person who constantly tries to point out their knowledge on every single subject thereby making themselves appear “intelligent.” There is rarely any topic, story, or person they do not know something about. We’ve seen this at dinner parties, networking groups, and even on dates. It seems they lack perhaps not intelligence, but a sense of humility in all things. They appear to have lost the ability to judge their importance.

We likely experienced this type of narcissistic personality in our last relationship. Nothing we did or said made any difference to that person at all. Our values and opinions were unimportant and we were made to feel small and mindless (remember the owl: unable to learn). Compared to this person whom we believed we loved and he loved us, we were reduced to a lower version of ourselves. But remember this important Bible verse when you think of that person you can not seem to get over or let go of: “Love is not jealous, or boastful, or proud, or rude.” (1 Corinthians 13:4b-5a NLT). But instead, true love “is patient and kind. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and keeps no record of being wronged. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance," (1 Corinthians 4-7 NLT). With these opposite descriptions as a guide, ask, was it true love in the first place? We are smart enough to know which is which. No wonder we were unhappy.

The main subjects here are the antics and nonsense that go on with someone who is trying to convince others of how much they know. Of making sure we understand that they are right and there is no discussion of the matter. They get the last word above all. Those of us who have been through such a psychological relationship, know we have now had to make the hard choices.

The truth is that cleverness is considered one of the most attractive traits in the world. We can be drawn to it in others like a magnet. We see it in the news, in sitcoms, and in the movies all the time. It makes for superb ratings. Displayed correctly, cleverness is a gift of intelligence and brilliance without becoming selfish, smug, and self-absorbed. But it is often misused and misunderstood. In the hands of one who is wrapped up only in her/himself, it can do much damage to others without ever becoming aware of their destruction in the end. Used as it is meant, cleverness can afford us the means to create a brand-new life for ourselves and our children. We were given 100 percent of our brains to use--let’s do it!

Tip of the Day

The only One who truly knows our value is God Himself, our Creator. He is the One who knows us inside and out and loves us beyond all imagination, more fully than anyone on earth ever will. Be assured God was right there holding us up with his right hand when we were being put down, cheated on, and tossed out. He got us to safety where we are now--standing on our own two feet.

Know that we are not unteachable owls. . we are God’s W.O.R.D.: Women of Renewed Devotion!

“For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. As the Scriptures say, “He traps the wise in the snare of their own cleverness” (1 Corinthians 3:19 NLT).

Make Good Plans Now

Which one is your parachute?

Every single one of us has some type of creativity, whether we realize it or not. That is why human beings were created in the first place: to seek and find our special, one-of-a-kind purpose using all of our God-given, inherent passions. We may not spend hours detailing a painting as we sit at an easel, but something is burning in our hearts anxiously waiting to escape. We are good at creating something in our lives! It could be the flute we played so many years ago in the high school marching band that would now strike a perfect note in a jazz band or symphony orchestra. Or the pink ballet shoes hanging in the closet for years collecting dust that could teach a young girl how to dance.

Our creativity may not lie in any of these professional arts at all. It isn’t about the accolades, awards, or getting on one of the “Best” lists. Creativity is simply making new things or using new ideas. It might be exactly how we are at calculating sales projections, how we naturally lead the group in PTA meetings, our knack for baking bread, or hosting a grand opening at a rescued animal shelter. Any number of activities can fulfill our gift of creativity.

We instinctively know we are gifted in certain areas when we can hardly wait to wake up in the morning and do it all over again. This is passion! This is where the joy is! The ideas may come easily, but that doesn’t mean everything will always go as smoothly as honey. Anything worthwhile (and each of us determines that for ourselves) is worth trying, especially when it is difficult to continue. Remember the French painter Claude Monet? He painted his famous water lilies at least 250 times to get them right! Our artistic gift--whatever that may be--fills our thoughts until we release it through our five senses: touch, taste, sight, sound, or scent. Sometimes, it is advisable to engage feedback from friends to get a new perspective if we feel stuck figuring something out. Remember to trust yourself and take any critique as opinion, not the absolute rule. Our aim in creating is to use and experiment with all the ideas running around in our heads. We do this by continually reading and researching the subject, paying attention to the experts, and taking advantage of professional education and networking if we so desire.

Some of us have passions that have laid dormant for years like a hibernating bear. We either haven’t taken the time to discover what they are or we put only a half-hearted effort into developing our gifts. Just because we got distracted by other people, places, or non-creative activities for years, doesn’t mean we do not still have that creativity inside ourselves. Oh, it is there. It is the reason why we are still searching for our true selves and why we feel no satisfaction or fulfillment in life. We just have not answered the natural “call” of our souls to wake up!

Today is perfect for opening our eyes and stretching for the morning sun (workout anyone?). Time to dust off the cobwebs and discover the ideas stored in the back of our minds. If we are honest with ourselves, deep down inside we already know what we want and can do with the rest of our lives, even if we have ignored the desire for a while. But maybe it’s a little hazy and we need to be pointed in the right direction. If that seems reasonable, try some of these resources to get the momentum going:

What Color Is Your Parachute? (2022) by Richard N. Bolles, MIT, Harvard. Chosen as "one of the all-time 100 best non-fiction books" by Time Magazine has sold more than ten million copies since its first publication (there is even an edition for those retired).

Excuses Begone!: How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Wayne State University; St. John’s University

Discovering Joy in Your Creativity by Women of Faith

The Mind Connection: How the Thoughts You Choose Affect Your Mood, Behavior, and Decisions, by Joyce Meyer

Tip of the Day

Of all living things God breathed life into, humans are his masterpieces. YOU are His masterpiece and there is no one else like you! None. You are the original and there are no copies. He takes delight in that fact.

God had a reason for creating you. A purpose just for you to do good, so others will learn from you who He is and praise Him as the one true God. That’s a big assignment, but God already knew you could do it in your own special, unique way. No one else can do it just exactly like you!

The Bible says, “In the beginning God created. . .” He is the one and only Creator of all, has always created from the beginning of time, and is still creating new life every day. He never stops and he never makes a mistake. What an artist He is! To discover your best life, get to know this Master of all.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT).

The Key to Your Future

Where is your key?

We held tight to our movie seats when Back to the Future, voted the twenty-third greatest film ever made, propelled us into another world. The movie was so popular because we like to fantasize about romantic or historical places we would have enjoyed visiting back in the future! We imagine what it would have been like to live in a certain period, what we would have become while there, and the amazing people we would have met.

When it comes right down to it, we are in a much better place--without the science-fiction time travel--now that we are starting a new journey. Life renewed. Exciting adventures. Freedom. Surely, living single is a scary struggle at first when it is all new to us. It takes tenacity, courage, and panache. It is a spirit of persistence and determination to go forward and not let anything get us down that will matter in the end. We have survived to this point and therefore, we know we can continue to do the same if we stay on track.

Our world now is the welcome discovery of second chances. Who wouldn’t want the opportunity to make things better and start over? Sure, we perhaps did not choose to become single again, but we can certainly learn to see our lives in a different light. A brighter light that can open up numerous possibilities, if we don’t allow anything to get in our way.

We do not control the universe; things do happen for a reason whether we are aware of them or not. Contrary to popular belief, there is no such thing as coincidence. Sometimes those reasons occur because of us--we were born, for instance, in a certain place, at a certain time, to certain parents. And sometimes the reasons transpire despite us. We make unwise decisions, often when we are depressed or discouraged. We become impulsive and rush into things, or we treat those around us with ill will. 

Here is the key to your future: the sequence of events that move us along on our chosen path requires our cooperation. We cannot just sit back and not take responsibility for our existence. Now is our chance! Once we get past all the sorrow, struggle, and strain of reinventing our lives (and it does take time), we will reach a point where we can look back and see we are much better off. The inevitable movement happens if we just focus and stay on course. Then from that moment of truth, we can gain momentum with confidence assured we are going in the best direction.

Once we arrive at our “happy place,” good things begin. Here we need a word of caution: do not try and force events to take place before they naturally appear. It would be like pushing ourselves to run a marathon after not exercising for the past ten years. We haven’t trained for it yet; we would pass out on the course! We can, however, practice using our natural gifts and talents to sculpt the life we have always imagined. It will take a bit of sagaciousness (insight/wisdom) no doubt, but we can get to where we want to go. The wise advice “do what you love and it will never feel like work” applies to our current situation like a well-fitting glove.

Developing a happy and successful life will produce one of our most attractive qualities. Don’t we all love cheerful people who enjoy life with a smile? However, trying to stretch and reach for a life we are not prepared for yet, will only pull our mental muscles into a painful knot. Better to take it slow and savor each day to the fullest right where we are at the moment. Practice makes perfect as they say!

Tip of the Day

One person who does control the universe and already knows how much we desire a better life and close relationships is God himself. Our singleness is not a surprise to Him. He understands our human traits, temperaments, and all the days of abuse that got us here. Now, God has placed us in a better world that he prepared in advance for us. When we grow to the point where we understand our healing process--where a time comes for us to move into a union with someone new--God will let us know! Until then, we can simply enjoy His presence, protection, and power in our lives.

“Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. . .” (1 Corinthians 7:17 NLT).

Improve the Landscape of Your Life

Where is your most beautiful landscape?

A famous TV doctor often repeats, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." We are here to gently say that we understand it is excruciatingly difficult to speak of faithfulness and trust after the collision we went through in our past relationship. Those are values we rather totally ignore now and not deal with ever. 

Unfaithfulness hurts, yes. Devotion and dependability were the keys we counted on to hold things together and those keys broke in the lock of our love. They were supposed to be as solid as iron. Keys we never needed to replace. And then they failed to work and here we are alone. Amazingly, we have found the strength to make it this far, so we can continue.

For our nurturing and growth, let's strive to bypass this obstacle and acknowledge what is right in front of us. No one walks down the aisle expecting anything less than a marital bond that exhibits true and constant support and loyalty. Promises kept. Trust deserving. It is how we imagine our life will blossom. And then it doesn't sprout and grow. Every couple is different and unique; the answers to why the bond didn't work are as numerous as the stars. It requires us to seek professional help to understand the kaleidoscope of two people living as one.

But wait! As long as we are willing, and truly want to improve the landscape of our lives, we can explore where our past has taken us and how to advance our future, which is all that is important at this point.

Danger! Four-Way Intersection Ahead

We have arrived at the intersection of life where many choices await us. The road is wide open, but we may be stalled and not know which direction to go. So many things to think about and decide because we don’t want to repeat the past. Panic wants to take control of the wheel but we are going to breathe deeply first.

LEFT. Turn this way and we slam right into Fear. It holds us back from merging onto the highway of life. We know the feeling. It keeps us in bed all day. It causes us to avoid people. It justifies our addictions. We stagnate, unable to move forward. Our engine just stops.

BEHIND. Turn back and we sink into Depression. The past becomes our present. Our energy completely disappears as our spirits fall. The "blues" become our only companion. We wallow in melancholy, unable to do anything about our unhappiness. Our heart is sick and weighed down. It's an ugly place.

RIGHT. Opposite the left is a turn that leads us into a newfound Trust in ourselves and others. We discover new truths and beliefs in how we can better handle life. Possibilities shine bright. We make an effort to connect with people who are encouraging and uplifting and eliminate any negativity that drags us down. Here we find our strength and resilience. We believe in our ability to thrive.

STRAIGHT AHEAD. We struggled through the storm and arrived in one piece at a place called Faith. We suddenly know something, or rather Someone, is waiting for us with open arms. Darkness turns to light, just as when we open the blinds and curtains to let the sun into a room. Happiness appears and introduces us to its twin, Joy. We learn how to recognize those who are trustworthy, loyal, and true. We become optimistic about our future.

Keeping Our Eyes Open

It is unsafe and impossible to drive with blindfolds on our eyes. We will crash into things! And we will never get where we are going. This journey we are traveling will have its share of bumps and turns. But we will hang on and move right on past all the unpleasant potholes. This time, we know which turn to take when we get to the intersection!

Tip of the Day

On every road, we need a Guide, but not just anyone. Someone who IS the definition of true Faithfulness and Trust. We can find Him on that Straight Ahead road. That place where God never gives up on us. Never. He promises He won't and can be trusted to keep His promise. He is faithful in every way and at all times. He has a rare unconditional love for us. He is the One we have been looking for all along.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! His faithful love endures forever” (Psalm 107:1 NLT).

[photo compliments of pixabay]