What Have We Learned?

Hint: Grab the book with ribbons!

It’s a painful experience to suffer ridicule in our lives (remember Charlie Brown from the comic strip, Peanuts?), no matter how many candles are on the cake this year. Someone intentionally making fun of us, especially cruelly or harshly, catches us off guard. It’s like mistakenly hitting our finger with a hammer. Ouch! The pain is sudden and unexpected. 

There are endless ways people exhibit their brand of hurting others; sometimes it is subtle, and at other times, it’s obvious and offensive. We’ve all had to endure this psychological abuse in our lives if we were ever in a relationship that was going nowhere. We struggled, not knowing at the time what to do about it. Now, we are relieved to finally find ourselves in a better place.

We can pause now and ask ourselves, “What have we learned?” In many cases, inappropriate words--verbal abuse--were forced on us day after day. Maybe we never responded out of fear of making the situation worse. Or perhaps we did react with anger of our own, and that, of course, solved nothing. 

We, of all people (single-again), understand the striking power of words. We now have a decision to make. Are we going to continue this pattern or change it? Like the invalid person in the Bible who was asked by Jesus, Do you want to get well? [emphasis mine] (John 5:6 NIV). Do we want peace in our lives? The truth is, we have the power to change our attitudes, and this is where transformation begins. 

No one willingly wants to take part in repeating such disturbing verbal abuse or physical attack. Only if we have an open mind and a softened heart will we learn from our past. Reversing emotional abuse and improving our outlook is good for our souls and our futures. We are not saying it is easy to make a change. Just that it is important if we want to restore our health. 

There really are no quick or easy answers. Humans have not successfully eliminated the temptation of keeping our mouths quiet for long. We are fascinated with talking and hearing our own voices. We envision ourselves as charming and those who others hang on our every word. We might just have these gifts, but still wrestle with finding the proper way to use them. It takes much practice and possibly using invisible packaging tape over our mouths!

Tip of the Day 

The best solution available is found in the Bible--God’s perfect way to use His Word to communicate with us. If we can admit we are serious about changing past patterns, check these four references and the corresponding subjects:

• Ephesians 4:31-32 - bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, slander
• Proverbs 20:19 - gossiping
• 2 Corinthians 12:20 - quarreling, jealousy, arrogance
• Proverbs 16:28 - being a troublemaker, strife

In the Peanuts comic strip, some say Lucy was the most “mouthy” one. Maybe we should all just claim Snoopy and Woodstock as our best friends–they had thoughts but no “language” to utter!

"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry" (James 1:19 NLT).

Fill a Canyon with Courage

The Grand Canyon is waiting for you!

No matter what stage of life we are in, we need excellent role models and mentors. It’s always good to keep an eye on how other women are improving, encouraging, developing, and growing. Stop and think, who would we pick as the one female (non-relative) who has had the most influence in our lives? It might be the life and accomplishments of someone we learned about in our studies, such as:

• Eleanor Roosevelt used her influential voice as First Lady to speak on the injustice of certain social matters. She was also a strong supporter of African-American rights, even in the 1940s. Eleanor was never elected to office but is still often quoted today as a social reformer.
• Marie Curie was a scientist and the first woman to win a Nobel Prize. She was the only person to be awarded Nobel Prizes in two different science fields! Marie was the first female professor at Sorbonne University in Paris, France. If you think she had nothing else to do, she also refined X-ray imaging. Think about her when you have your next mammogram!

Our own personal female influencer may be a living person. One that we admire for her tenacity and determination amid all the trials and tribulations poured on her like a torrential downpour. Anyone who has ever experienced extreme anger, depression, suicidal thoughts, or even just a day that went from bad to worse would never forget the horrifying story of Joni Eareckson Tada. It will push your doubts and fears to a new level. 

In 1967, when she was just seventeen years old, Joni became a quadriplegic, paralyzed from the shoulders down during a diving accident. We may or may not be able to imagine the many months, even years, of heart-wrenching discouragement and pain--both physical and emotional-- she endured in rehabilitation. 

Did she ever give up? Sure. At first, Joni did just that; she wanted to end it all right there. But she found her strength in her God, who held her up when she didn’t think she could go on, and He gave her the courage to face another day. Within just a few years, Joni learned to paint with a brush between her teeth! With that same method, so far, she has written more than fifty books, including the best-selling Joni, the story of her life. 

Joni has recorded several musical albums, starred in a movie about her life, and is an advocate for the disabled. Was that the conclusion of a “happy-ever-after” story? No, not by any means. In 2010, Joni was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a mastectomy and chemotherapy. Her courage could fill the Grand Canyon!

Maybe our hero is not famous. Maybe she is the teacher who stayed late time after time just to help us learn the piano. Now we play in concert halls. A coach who showed us a better way to ice skate so we could get into the Olympics. A local businesswoman trained us on how to open our own business. Or the optimistic friend who helped move us to a new home with no questions asked. We all have someone we look up to and want to take lessons from when the next pothole blocks the road.

Because of these women and their accomplishments, we might ask ourselves, What have I done with my days? Instead of living in a state of depression and discouragement, we can review and gain momentum from the lives of women we admire. Autobiographies and biographies fill shelves upon shelves in our libraries, waiting for us to learn from fearless women. We can then begin picking our chins off the floor, packing our bags full of bold-spiritedness, tenacity, and grit, and start something new!

Tip of the Day

It isn’t easy to move on by ourselves. We need only look to our heavenly Father to help us find a place of love and encouragement. He is on our side and already knows our hurts, problems, and challenges. God just wants to hear us ask for His help, as He never wants to force His love on us.

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand" (Isaiah 41:10 NLT).

Yes You Can

It's been an extremely hectic 30 days. Have you ever felt that way? Bet you have!

I'm working on trying to "restore" balance to my life right now and will take a two week break. 

So, meantime, I leave you with this tid-bit to think about that I just read:

"Your life will run more smoothly if you simplify." Hmmm. 

I'll be back soon. I promise!