There are days when life travels so fast we rarely make the time to turn our heads for a moment to see where we came from and where we are going. We may hold down a job or work from home, but hours fly faster than we can catch up. And don’t think retired women spend all their time rocking in a chair either. Their lives are just as busy as when they were employed; it’s just the scenery has changed.
One common culprit is the cell phone. With 7.2 billion smartphones worldwide, we can see why. Bet you could guess China is the #1 with 975 million smartphone users. The U.S. is #3 with only 276 million users. Ha! Got you! [Source: explodingtopics.com]
Every now and then, though, it’s a good idea to unplug, slow down, look back, and perform a friendly evaluation of where we have landed. We can build what is called “margin” in our lives by creating specific times of peace and quiet. Really.
Just get in the habit of turning off all the technology screens (phone, TV, computer, etc) at a certain time each evening. This way, we “power down” our busy day, and our minds begin to relax and get ready to sleep. We can use this time to read (not on a screen, though!), journal, or just listen to quiet music. It is simply amazing how well this works, especially for those of us who deal with excess stress, sleep disorders, or physical limitations. Everyone needs a nightly relaxation period to train the brain to wind down and stop.
If we don’t want a repeat of our past, it’s to our advantage to mentally retrace how far we have traveled and what we have accomplished. There are two ways to compare how we are doing: what didn’t work before and what is working now.
Wide-Eyed Wishing: What Didn’t Work
Many of us were perhaps too young when we married the first time. We didn’t take the time to fully know the one we quickly said, “I do!” to, nor did we even know ourselves yet. We sat down and made a plan to walk down the aisle, but not much more. There was no lifelong plan involving shared responsibilities, decisions, and growth that included both of us.
Did we talk about how important continuing education was to us, when, how, or if we would start a family, and who would handle the finances? Did we observe his reactions to family get-togethers, holidays, and special occasions? Did we make decisions about careers together? How did he treat not only us but other women in general? And most importantly, did we discuss how our faith, or lack of it, would affect each other?
The list goes on and on, but were we even aware that we should evaluate those basic life questions before buying the wedding dress? At such a young age, we perhaps lacked the experience needed to deal with and avoid repeated scenes that could cause us damage and destruction. Frankly, we had no idea what we were doing. And because of our innocence, we lost ourselves in a forest of nothingness. We lived a “half-life,” never developing our talents and abilities. Finally, we matured, gained insight, and found the strength we needed to make better decisions.
Wiser Women: What’s Working Now
Learning from past stumbles and falls, we have been able to dust ourselves off and choose better goals and habits, creating a more “fully-developed life.” Our hearts spill over with joy just knowing a whole new way to live is possible; enthusiasm goes a long way in getting us to this point.
Sure, not every single day goes smoothly, no one said it would. We are human, after all, and this is real life. It gets hard sometimes for all of us living on our own. But we are not alone in this truth when we have each other to lean on. The key is how we respond to all the messiness.
We each have to decide what that looks like for our own lives, not for our friend’s life, not for our sister’s, mother’s, or aunt’s life, but what positive thing we can do when life gets us down. It’s all about making a wise choice. With all the confidence we now have (and it will increase every day with practice), we know we can survive at least the next twenty-four hours!
Tip of the Day
We need a Guidebook to help us through life. Wiser words have never been spoken than in the first nine chapters of the Book of Proverbs in the Bible. We can use those as an indicator to weigh how our lives are going.
If we haven't quite reached the point where we want our lives to be, studying and meditating on these nurturing words of God will make it very clear what we need to do. Give it a try!
“Wisdom is far more valuable than rubies. Nothing you desire can compare with it” (Proverbs 8:11) NLT.
