Rhythm & Tempo

Listen to the RHYTHM of the falling rain...

We are all born with certain inherent abilities whether we recognize them immediately or not. Activities we are naturally drawn to over and over again. We might have wondered as a child why science experiments were fascinating; how we could perform gymnastic feats at the park playground with no problem; or spend an entire day at the library searching for just the right book. These and many others are why we want to work in a certain area or profession as an adult. Some of us are naturally gifted to work in the medical field, with computers in an information technology (IT) department, or as an elementary or high school teacher, or dream of becoming a college professor or book editor. Others may be perfectly suited to hold positions in the police force, construction, political office, or teaching others how to quilt. It’s not the particular work we do. It’s how well we are fitted to the job that makes the difference.

In the twenty-first century, we thankfully have opportunities to work in any field we choose no matter our gender, race, or marital status. Some type of education or training--including on-the-job--will be necessary. The fact is if we have a genuine desire to flourish and grow, and if we persevere through all the effort it takes, we can get to where we want to go using our natural abilities.

Once we finally arrive at our chosen destination, we still have places to go. There is no such thing as remaining in one position over five or ten years. How many of us have been asked in our annual review, “Where do you see yourself in the next five years?” Employers have a definite aversion to someone who is not active and progressing. Think of it this way: remaining stagnant is not attractive! Thriving in business is a constant learning environment. The meter ticks rhythmically back and forth between one lesson and the next; between beginner and advanced levels. If we welcome and desire momentum in our occupations, we can accomplish much.

We may also see or experience the opposite. No matter how hard we try, our careers can get temporarily sidetracked or the job doesn’t work out as expected. Or we find a need to move from one city to another having to backtrack just a bit to catch up. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports the average worker will hold around fifteen jobs in their lifetime for one reason or another. So we are not alone.

What we want and need is to protect ourselves by finding the best way to remain in a job--at least long enough to get that promotion--before moving on to the next big thing. Other than obvious responsibilities, like showing up on time for work, there are plenty of ways to stay active and enjoy our working years in the process. To get the ball rolling, try one or two of these foundational steps and build from there:

• Stand Out: don’t just follow the crowd, do the right thing.
• Be a Champion: lead with courage and stand up for the underdog.
• Fill in the Gaps: help a coworker who is struggling with her duties. We all have bad days.
• Be an Example: show love, offer encouragement, and extend a helping hand.
• Compromise: it’s not necessary to always have the last word; try humbleness instead.

Tip of the Day

Living life is certainly difficult to figure out, especially right now. Finding the answers for what to do can seem nearly hopeless. How do we survive from living as part of a couple to making it on our own? Every day, every job, every place will not always be perfect for us, maybe not even a little bit, maybe not for a while. But it’s never hopeless.

This is where we realize when we are at the “end of our rope” there is a safety knot to catch us! If we learn to trust in God, we will not fall or even stumble. There may even be a day God will lead us right into a new relationship and, then, we will be on an entirely different path to conquer. But for now, in this growing season in our lives, God has other plans for us. We can only cooperate and do our very best. That’s all He asks of us. We can do it!

“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life” (Galatians 6:4-5 The Message).

Keep an Eye on the Mountaintop

Reaching our personal mountaintop one step at a time!

Decades travel at the speed of a “don’t blink, you’ll miss it” kind of rush. When we were teens or young adults with all of our self-preoccupations, we never dreamed we would ever see the time when we faced a season called “midlife.” But, sure enough, every single one of us arrives blinking our eyes in surprise and suspense! What exactly will happen to us now? We stare at the mirror wondering if it’s too late to do anything that will make a difference. Our young ones are jumping out of the nest anxious to find their way. And we are left all at once with glee, sadness, and terror at the thought of a vacant house. Of course, when we finally start painting our lives golden, our minds play tricks on us and we still think we are twenty years younger than reality!

Every season of our lives has its pros and cons “for such a time as this.” In our exciting college years, life happened all at once. Joyfully or not, we separated from our parents and envisioned a lifetime of great success, and the “I can’t live without you” type of perfect relationship along with happily doing things our way. Sound familiar?

Between our 30s and 40s, life started revealing its true nature. Things were different than we originally imagined; the sharp edges grayed a bit in the fog of reality. Still, life was “do-able” as we revised our plans, sometimes more than once. Energies slowed a bit, then took off again like a stuttering car, as we discovered new goals to fit our lifestyles. We learned the eye-opening difference between “Me, Me, Me” and “We, We, We.” Life was good as long as we were willing to open our hearts and minds to the world.

Midlife comes onto the scene with a vengeance! For some, it’s a shock to turn around and discover a new landscape--an entirely new life we just can’t ignore. Now we remember all those dreams and decisions we intended to tackle thirty years before interruptions, distractions, and life generally took over. So, do we just throw up our hands and give up? No, not ever! We have all the time, talent, and wisdom to share with others now. Wasting those would be a violation of nature and our well-being. Now is the best opportunity to start making new plans, as life does not wait on any of us, as we already recognize.

The good news is we can look around with eyes wide open and see new possibilities we never knew we had. Currently [2025], 126 million people in the U. S. are over age fifty and growing (IBISworld.com), and the U.S. Census states 25 million live alone, and 55 percent are single-again women. We are not alone by any means! If we truly want to do something with the next fifty years (yes, more and more people are reaching the centennial mark and beyond), we must be willing to get out of the house and meet others in our “tribe.”

Thinking about it, we can see our experiences, good and not so good, piled one on top of the other like a house made of brick for our entire lives. There is a purpose in that phenomenon. Our lifework built for us an entire “library” of useful and teachable events. We most certainly can not go back in history and redo our lives. But, we can make today count and go forward, calling on our learning episodes and making things new and different. We could try out these four ideas :

• Lifelong Learning - always beneficial and fun, we can choose something we’ve wanted to learn or participate in doing. Local colleges provide a regular schedule of one-time classes.
• Travel Groups - how many of the U. S. states have we visited? How about that foreign country calling our name? Day trips are also a great way to see sites and meet others without a big commitment.
• Community Events - right in our hometown, there are plenty of occasions to use our skills, learn new ones, or volunteer and make our neighborhood better.
• Church Groups - just ask because the church can always use extra help. We will feel useful and needed for sure.

One for each week or one per month, totally up to you!

Tip of the Day

No matter our circumstances and lifestyle, there is a way to make a difference in our golden days. God provides what we need, when we need it, if we just ask. He doesn’t force Himself on us, but is always ready to help and will never, ever leave us! Just having the determination to do something with our lives that is worthwhile and beneficial is Step Two. Step One is placing our faith in the One True God. We can do that, can’t we?

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV).

Tiny Ripples of Hope

Tiny Ripples of Hope Everyday

Every time you stand up for an ideal, you send forth a tiny ripple of hope. 

(Robert Kennedy)

Surely, we are ready to face the facts, get them out, and get them over with so we can move on. Any show of hands? Changing our status to single-again is no party, even if Hollywood says differently. It is still not a pretty picture, especially if we didn’t want or cause the separation or break-up. It ushers in activities like turning off the phone and pulling the covers over our heads for the next three months!

If we want to breathe, however, the covers must come off sooner rather than later. We are stronger than we sometimes feel or look. Certainly, after our morning cup of coffee, tea, or juice and a shower, the day seems much better. Getting dressed in something comfortable and colorful, doing our hair and makeup, and stepping outside for a walk will fill our lungs with oxygen as well as hope. Now, we can think clearly.

We Are Here to Stay

We can take this season of our lives and make all sorts of new plans, ideas, and traditions. Showing the world we are here to stay on our terms bolsters confidence! Remember, our lives don't have to paint a picture of perfection because no one’s life is that immaculate. Aiming for something better--something hopeful--is much more authentic. We can strive to simply live, breathe, and survive day by day with all the enthusiasm we can find. Living this way by what we choose to do and how we act accomplishes much toward our well-being. One definition of hope is "anticipating something good to come in the future." Ready to test that thought?

Any or all of these fun pick-me-ups could fit right into the hope-filled lives that we are reinventing (remember these are choices that bring benefits):

• Regularly connect with a friend who understands us.
• Change our thinking and celebrate our own life. Try simple things to cheer ourselves up: a new restaurant, a new route to work, a new workout center, a new quilt for our bed.
• Keep our sense of humor, even if we're not known as the funny type. Watch a comedy. Tell jokes with our kids. Share a funny story with a friend or family member.
• Keep an encouragement journal. As often as we can (morning or night), list a few things we are grateful for that bring us happiness or a kind word spoken on our behalf.
• Volunteer to help someone in need. Work at a thrift store that benefits abused women. Read to children or the elderly. Teach someone to dance.
• If we don't feel like cooking for family dinners, it is okay to bring a store-bought dish or flowers for the table. Really.

Hope is as real as looking up in the sky and seeing the sun. It's too far away to touch, yet we can feel its warmth every day. Hope is the confidence we have in things that are unclear or unseen. It's our inspiration!

Tip of the Day

First of all, the whole truth: God is the original source of all hope. He knew we would someday need all we could get. He offers it to us with hands outstretched! The Bible tells us that hope creates patience, courage, and joy. When we allow our hope to dwindle, we can easily understand why we have no energy to bring us encouragement. Without hope, we have nothing else. It is one of the three things that last: faith, hope, and [true] love.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13 NLT).

Too Many Grocery Carts in the Rack

Choose your cart

Thankfully our days are created in twenty-four-hour segments. If they were any longer, we might not be able to handle all of it because there are only so many problems and pressures to deal with before we collapse and need rest. A continual repeat of this kind of craziness will destroy our hopes and dreams. Of course, there are certain times when we wish we had more hours in the day just to get all the things on our To-Do lists done. But that is much like driving on one of those round-about traffic circles and not being able to get into the correct lane to get off!

There are thousands of things we constantly worry about without stopping. The car breaks down on the way home from getting groceries and everything melts, the hairdresser cuts our hair too short, the coffee maker decides it doesn’t want to make our morning brew when we need it, and the boss just announces we need to work overtime while we are walking out the door to go home to the kids, we can’t find our favorite blouse to wear to a job interview, and it goes on and on and on and. . . The trouble with all this commotion is the worries just stack together one upon the other from day to day like too many grocery carts in a rack. They get stuck together and it’s hard to release them. Today we are still worrying about all the things we didn’t tackle yesterday. Add that to today’s problems, plus start stressing over tomorrow’s fears, and “bingo” we have a major breakdown in the making.

The good news is we always have a choice to get into the correct lane. We can choose a different way to handle our daily anxieties and stop our nagging minds from calling out for attention. Worry is a habit we constantly entertain. It has almost become a cultural, inborn trait that creates a crisis when a solution is available if we only slow down and breathe, so we can think clearly. The constant adrenaline causes our nerves to tighten into knots, finally resulting in enough pain that we deeply desire a visit to the massage therapist.

Actually, our new lives can continue to improve if, with determination, we choose to find an answer to the anxieties that plague us. Those nervous “butterflies” in our stomachs are annoying and, instead of helping us to get things done as we might think, worry distracts us from accomplishing what we intend to do in the first place. Our focus becomes blurry. Our head starts swimming. Ever feel that way? 

We are not saying there will never be anything in our lives to care about again. Of course, there will be. But there is a difference between worry--which solves nothing and keeps us on that never-ending roundabout--and concern, which involves us in the solution of a problem. Concern causes us to be troubled enough to get up and do something about it. 

How do we begin to change the pattern? First, we have to understand many of the worries we have are human-made. We load our twenty-four-hour days with thirty-six hours of things to do. It’s impossible to keep up that pace! We get in a rush and cause accidents both at home and in public. We chase after more money and more things to keep up with the neighbors. We get in the way of the lives of others, instead of taking care of our quandaries. We need a plan. How about these:

• Prioritize daily to-do lists: A) urgent/most important; B) need to get done ASAP; or C) least important/back burner. Handle only one activity at a time! Well done!
• Plan appointments allowing enough time for each. A good way to do this is to work backward from the time of the appointment. Calculate how long it takes to get there (use a map app to make it easy), how long it takes to shower and dress. Don’t pile appointments and meetings up like wooden blocks. Blocks tend to tumble over like a Jenga game. It’s okay to say “No” when necessary!
• Pare back your home by clearing out trash, knick-knacks, and clothes that haven’t been worn in over two years; use an old-school monthly budget on paper just to see exactly where the money goes; and finally, create a special, unique space just for personal work or hobbies.

Tip of the Day

We have one perfect cure for all our worries and that is God himself. He already has a plan for our lives but waits for us to stop stressing and trust him; we love that: stop and trust! 

Just know He is not going to force Himself on us. For every single problem we face, God has the solution. It’s found in the Bible, His special message to us. This is how He communicates with us. All we need to be concerned about is caring for our inner souls (i.e., connecting with God every day).  

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:34 NLT).

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done" (Philippians 4:6-7 NLT).

[photo by pixabay.com images]

Holiday Break

Hello Fresh Start Momentum friends!

Raise your virtual hands if you ever needed a break from daily run-around!

Well I am needing to take a break so join me as holidays are about to begin. 

FSM will be back with another episode after December 1st.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Antics and Nonsense

Beautiful, but how intelligent?

When someone is considered intelligent, we often say they are “wise as an owl.” That phrase we define as a cliche and it is used so often that our curiosity has all but disappeared. Not only is such a grammatical hiccup non-creative, but we could make an enemy real quick when referring to a person in that manner. Why? Because owls, according to those wildlife experts who work with them, can not be trained to do even the simplest of tasks. Unlike parrots, hawks, pigeons, or even parakeets, who all can be taught to do a variety of amazing feats, owls are what we might lovingly refer to as mindless, as in unable to learn anything or be trained.

Without even knowing the facts above, many of us have used this common description (“wise as an owl”) solely based on how the beautiful owl species look. It is all in their enormous eyes compared to the size of their much smaller head. They simply look like they are focusing and paying attention to us, so we equate that with intelligence and describe them as wise. Especially when they turn their entire head to look at someone or something! Stunning!

There are many, many details we do not know about a lot of things. Most of us can readily admit to that idea, even though there has always been a myth that we only use ten percent of our brains (numerous scientists have proven otherwise). John Henley, a neurologist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, stated, "Evidence would show over a day you use 100 percent of the brain." The key to understanding this statement concerning the myth is that at any one time during the day, we may only use ten percent of our brain on a particular task or project.

Referring back to the “wise owl” comparison, nothing is more annoying than a person who constantly tries to point out their knowledge on every single subject thereby making themselves appear “intelligent.” There is rarely any topic, story, or person they do not know something about. We’ve seen this at dinner parties, networking groups, and even on dates. It seems they lack perhaps not intelligence, but a sense of humility in all things. They appear to have lost the ability to judge their importance.

We likely experienced this type of narcissistic personality in our last relationship. Nothing we did or said made any difference to that person at all. Our values and opinions were unimportant and we were made to feel small and mindless (remember the owl: unable to learn). Compared to this person whom we believed we loved and he loved us, we were reduced to a lower version of ourselves. But remember this important Bible verse when you think of that person you can not seem to get over or let go of: “Love is not jealous, or boastful, or proud, or rude.” (1 Corinthians 13:4b-5a NLT). But instead, true love “is patient and kind. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and keeps no record of being wronged. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance," (1 Corinthians 4-7 NLT). With these opposite descriptions as a guide, ask, was it true love in the first place? We are smart enough to know which is which. No wonder we were unhappy.

The main subjects here are the antics and nonsense that go on with someone who is trying to convince others of how much they know. Of making sure we understand that they are right and there is no discussion of the matter. They get the last word above all. Those of us who have been through such a psychological relationship, know we have now had to make the hard choices.

The truth is that cleverness is considered one of the most attractive traits in the world. We can be drawn to it in others like a magnet. We see it in the news, in sitcoms, and in the movies all the time. It makes for superb ratings. Displayed correctly, cleverness is a gift of intelligence and brilliance without becoming selfish, smug, and self-absorbed. But it is often misused and misunderstood. In the hands of one who is wrapped up only in her/himself, it can do much damage to others without ever becoming aware of their destruction in the end. Used as it is meant, cleverness can afford us the means to create a brand-new life for ourselves and our children. We were given 100 percent of our brains to use--let’s do it!

Tip of the Day

The only One who truly knows our value is God Himself, our Creator. He is the One who knows us inside and out and loves us beyond all imagination, more fully than anyone on earth ever will. Be assured God was right there holding us up with his right hand when we were being put down, cheated on, and tossed out. He got us to safety where we are now--standing on our own two feet.

Know that we are not unteachable owls. . we are God’s W.O.R.D.: Women of Renewed Devotion!

“For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. As the Scriptures say, “He traps the wise in the snare of their own cleverness” (1 Corinthians 3:19 NLT).

Make Good Plans Now

Which one is your parachute?

Every single one of us has some type of creativity, whether we realize it or not. That is why human beings were created in the first place: to seek and find our special, one-of-a-kind purpose using all of our God-given, inherent passions. We may not spend hours detailing a painting as we sit at an easel, but something is burning in our hearts anxiously waiting to escape. We are good at creating something in our lives! It could be the flute we played so many years ago in the high school marching band that would now strike a perfect note in a jazz band or symphony orchestra. Or the pink ballet shoes hanging in the closet for years collecting dust that could teach a young girl how to dance.

Our creativity may not lie in any of these professional arts at all. It isn’t about the accolades, awards, or getting on one of the “Best” lists. Creativity is simply making new things or using new ideas. It might be exactly how we are at calculating sales projections, how we naturally lead the group in PTA meetings, our knack for baking bread, or hosting a grand opening at a rescued animal shelter. Any number of activities can fulfill our gift of creativity.

We instinctively know we are gifted in certain areas when we can hardly wait to wake up in the morning and do it all over again. This is passion! This is where the joy is! The ideas may come easily, but that doesn’t mean everything will always go as smoothly as honey. Anything worthwhile (and each of us determines that for ourselves) is worth trying, especially when it is difficult to continue. Remember the French painter Claude Monet? He painted his famous water lilies at least 250 times to get them right! Our artistic gift--whatever that may be--fills our thoughts until we release it through our five senses: touch, taste, sight, sound, or scent. Sometimes, it is advisable to engage feedback from friends to get a new perspective if we feel stuck figuring something out. Remember to trust yourself and take any critique as opinion, not the absolute rule. Our aim in creating is to use and experiment with all the ideas running around in our heads. We do this by continually reading and researching the subject, paying attention to the experts, and taking advantage of professional education and networking if we so desire.

Some of us have passions that have laid dormant for years like a hibernating bear. We either haven’t taken the time to discover what they are or we put only a half-hearted effort into developing our gifts. Just because we got distracted by other people, places, or non-creative activities for years, doesn’t mean we do not still have that creativity inside ourselves. Oh, it is there. It is the reason why we are still searching for our true selves and why we feel no satisfaction or fulfillment in life. We just have not answered the natural “call” of our souls to wake up!

Today is perfect for opening our eyes and stretching for the morning sun (workout anyone?). Time to dust off the cobwebs and discover the ideas stored in the back of our minds. If we are honest with ourselves, deep down inside we already know what we want and can do with the rest of our lives, even if we have ignored the desire for a while. But maybe it’s a little hazy and we need to be pointed in the right direction. If that seems reasonable, try some of these resources to get the momentum going:

What Color Is Your Parachute? (2022) by Richard N. Bolles, MIT, Harvard. Chosen as "one of the all-time 100 best non-fiction books" by Time Magazine has sold more than ten million copies since its first publication (there is even an edition for those retired).

Excuses Begone!: How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Wayne State University; St. John’s University

Discovering Joy in Your Creativity by Women of Faith

The Mind Connection: How the Thoughts You Choose Affect Your Mood, Behavior, and Decisions, by Joyce Meyer

Tip of the Day

Of all living things God breathed life into, humans are his masterpieces. YOU are His masterpiece and there is no one else like you! None. You are the original and there are no copies. He takes delight in that fact.

God had a reason for creating you. A purpose just for you to do good, so others will learn from you who He is and praise Him as the one true God. That’s a big assignment, but God already knew you could do it in your own special, unique way. No one else can do it just exactly like you!

The Bible says, “In the beginning God created. . .” He is the one and only Creator of all, has always created from the beginning of time, and is still creating new life every day. He never stops and he never makes a mistake. What an artist He is! To discover your best life, get to know this Master of all.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT).