Strong Woman: Yes, You!

Go ahead, try it!

Let's face it. No beating around the bush. Once we become single again, most likely we will need to either find an alternative income source or a regular job leading to a great career. Even if we have all the money we need, sitting around with nothing to do is boring, unproductive, and detrimental to our social life! Just remember what Oscar Wilde, the famous Irish poet and playwright, once said, “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” This might be the perfect quote to hang up where we can see it every day!

Five “Strong Woman” Clues to a Better Life

• Our health and happiness will blossom with the right job or career
• Taking the risk to improve our position will energize us
• Relationships on the job create friendships with those in the same situation
• We will establish ways to find new interests, hobbies, and opportunities

The Wrong Thing at the Right Time

All of this searching may seem scary at first, like looking over the edge of a skyscraper. We may just want to curl up or disappear, but eventually, we will have to face the world again. The good thing is that once we step out on our own, it gets easier and easier to find our freedom. It’s all about choosing a life of love and joy and putting one foot in front of the other. Don’t just take a job because it’s there. That’s a mistake made by many, many women, and it turns them into bitter and resentful people. It’s the wrong thing at the right time.

Some of us are planners from way back. We like the wonderful feeling of things running smoothly--it’s like the taste of a soft-serve ice cream cone. Life is yummy! Organizing is at the top of our list because we hate not being able to find things when we need something. Some of us are not in that camp! Deep down, we like the excitement and constant flow of adrenaline, but, admittedly, we could probably use the help of a professional organizing team to dig us out of the mess.

Tip of the Day

We realize rather quickly, trying to do life alone was never meant for us humans. Yes, it is hard. Harder than we ever knew it would be as a single-again woman. No one said it would be all roses and chocolates. However, if we stop and take a breath, we’ll find out that this adversity in our lives is exactly how our faith can grow. Part of that growth step is recognizing there are all sorts of support groups, counselors, church groups, and best friends to call on when we are depressed and despondent. There is no need to stay in the house and allow our feelings to overwhelm and convince us to give up. That is never a solution to anything.

So what is the very best answer for each one of us? It’s accepting the One who cares about us more than anyone could ever imagine. God knows what we need (not want) the most and what our future is all about. God created us, so of course, he knows all our hurts, pains, frustrations, and depressions. He sees our story on the “Big Screen” from beginning to end. Whereas, we can only look at our life through a narrow lens one day at a time. Otherwise, it would be too overwhelming because he has so many good and wonderful things planned for us. God is willing to direct our steps until we reach his ideal for our perfect life. Our part is just to cooperate!

“Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed” (Proverbs 16:3 NLT).

Big Makeover

Taking a risky turn in life is pretty common, wouldn't you agree? The truth is, it's never too late to make changes for the better. Some improvements are fairly easy to make like taking classes elsewhere. Or getting our hair re-styled. Relocating from one city to another might take more planning and daring, but it can be done. 

We wouldn't sit in front of our mirrors and apply makeup without knowing what we are doing. Likewise, we need to find out what we really want to do now that we are single-again. It doesn’t matter if we are twenty-two, forty-two, or seventy-two. If we haven’t achieved our dream, we still have decisions to make. 

So, we can get serious and make a plan for the “big makeover.” One thing we don't want to do is nothing, as it traps us in that big, dark "hole" we fell into long ago. It's time to admit now that many years have gone by and nothing has happened in our little brains. C. P. Sennett, the author and multi-award-winning business owner, once said, "If nothing changes, then nothing changes.”

Instead of regretting our procrastination--and never accomplishing our dreams–we recognize each day as a new beginning. It’s a fresh start. It holds another twenty-four hours of opportunity. It contains numerous possibilities we haven't even thought of yet. Remember, it's never too late to begin again as long as we don't give up! Quitting has never accomplished anything; it only gives the next woman in line a chance. 

Further, nothing says we can't do it on our own as women either. Sure, we know about the founders of some of the largest software/tech companies. But plenty of women have had their multi-million dollar successes. Of course, not without hard work.

Cultivating Ideas and Learning by Example

Imagine how some of the most successful women have been examples to all of us. There are so many we can barely name all of them. Here are just a few for you to consider:

• Arianna Huffington, co-founder and former editor-in-chief of the news website HuffPost (my favorite).
• Michelle Rhee, American Educator. Founded StudentsFirst, a non-profit organization for education reform.
• Three women listed among the top 20 Christian women who shaped history: Florence Nightingale, Susan B. Anthony, and Evangeline Cory Booth

All of these women are good examples for us to follow. Get to the library  and check out their biographies because we are all winners!   

Tip of the Day

What special idea is on your horizon? It can be absolutely anything we choose. Something that will fill us with joy and contentment. Only God knows what is right for our lives. Having a Guide to help us along the way, however, will make our dreams come alive. God created us inside and out with a unique purpose. He even created that horizon way out there that contains our dreams. 

The best part is the “Helper” God left for us to figure it all out! He will motivate, watch over us, supply endless direction, and give us the encouragement we’ll need to move forward. His name is the Holy Spirit and he lives inside our hearts forever once we ask Jesus to be our Savior. How could we possibly go wrong?

“No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it [yet], but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead” (Philippians 3:13 NLT)

Can't Get There from Here

Not too late to plant currants!

Have you noticed? Summer arrived a little too soon this year, and the kids couldn't wait to jump in a pool somewhere! However, not everyone enjoys the heat of summer days, sweating through the humidity and hoping our hair won’t wilt, slathering on suntan lotion with an SPF higher than the outside temperature, and slapping away pesky flying and crawling critters! And now, the “dog days” of summer are nearly over. 

When we think about what's next, many people have no reason to whine about the fall with all its fascinating colors and familiar smells. Falling leaves, pumpkin farms, corn mazes, great food, and harvest activities bring us right into the Christmas season. 

It takes a few of these seasons to figure out how to navigate brand-new traditions as single-again women. But let’s set aside the fluff talk for now; this is reality. One unvarnished truth to realize right away: there is life after we go our separate ways! Yet, time does not stand still for us, so at this point, we may ask, why is it, then, so hard? 

The key many of us forget is that this new life is not our old life (thankfully), nor should we expect it to be the same. It's just different, that's all. And, although scary at times, different can be enjoyable, beautiful, and delightful depending on how much effort we put into it. Think of all the times we’ve dreamed of doing things differently, but couldn’t for one reason or another. Now is our chance!

Hopefully, we are now anxious to start creating new memories. It’s all up to us. So let’s have a little fun. First, go to an office supply store and get a new, colorful twelve or sixteen-month calendar (hint: it's depressing to look at an old calendar!) Yes, we all know a digital calendar on our smartphone or tablet is convenient, but it can’t be compared to the uplifting benefits of a visual calendar. You’ll see.

Fill it not only with family birthdays and occasions but, more to the point, with all the new, fun things to do for the upcoming year. When does that college class in creative writing begin? When and where is the best ski trip with friends taking place? Who are you planning on visiting in the summer? What is the best time to plant roses? Plan as many enjoyable days as possible; those thirty or thirty-one little boxes need to come alive!

Perhaps the most important time to prepare for is the major holidays. Remember, being different is a good thing. Who says we have to keep all the old decorations around? Try donating it all to charity and start fresh. Go from all green and red (if that’s how it’s been for years) to gold and white, or all silver and woodsy. Move the furniture around and leave it permanently that way after the holidays. If none of this sounds fun, forget it all and go on a holiday cruise with another single friend to a tropical island (don’t forget to put it on your visual calendar). And smile!

Speaking of friends, this is the season of our lives that making new acquaintances is the best thing we can do for ourselves. No big commitment, just a way to be a friend to get a friend. Sitting in the house alone day after day will get us nowhere fast! Amazingly, it won’t be long before we find others with the same single lifestyle (and we are not talking about “singles clubs” either). We can begin to share ideas and similar activities and go to new places with others. One clue: avoid familiar places from the past. That’s just asking for trouble. 

There are just so many ways to create joy and peace in our lives throughout the year. We are powerful women with gifts, abilities, and talents. Using these to our greatest advantage will fill us with all the love we desire from others, for others, and ourselves.

Tip of the Day

Finally, be grateful for new beginnings. As time passes from year to year, we will be able to look around and see where we have been and where new adventures are bringing us. We never need to do this life alone, either. We have a Spiritual Helper--our Lord Jesus--that we can call on to give us all the support we will ever need!

“Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything--and I do mean everything--connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life--a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you” (Ephesians 4:23-24 The Message).

Once a Mom, Always a Mom

Innocent, quiet for now! Enjoy!

Moms of toddlers, teens, and everything in between can chuckle and nod knowingly when we say, "It was so much easier when they were innocent, quiet babies!" But we know that was when we had some measure of control over our children. Now it's non-stop chatter, running, jumping, and wrestling with siblings. Where, oh where, do they get all that energy? we often question.

We celebrate moms because someone once said, “Once a mom, always a mom” which, of course, is so very true. [*Please note that we are including every mom who has given birth at some time in their lives. Even if the child is in the arms of Jesus right now or being raised by another family (for whatever reason), we recognize the heartfelt love of this birth mom.] 

We have spent sleepless nights with a crying baby, had to rush over to talk with the school principal about yet another incident, and waited up to all hours when our teen missed curfew. But we still love our children dearly and wouldn't exchange them, even if we could. Our primary responsibility as parents is to guide and direct our children's steps, which can become a problem in itself. 

Of course, this doesn't come without some struggles and difficulties. The steps and stages we go through with motherhood will forever be in our minds. Who does not have one or even two baby books to mark every occasion with a wisp of hair or the first tooth? Plenty of photos at birthday parties, holidays, and everyday outings at the playground. Eventually, though, this becomes increasingly difficult as we have a second, third, or fourth child (how many is that, you say?). 

How do some moms make it look so easy? Look is the keyword here. Certainly, I am not an expert on this subject, but I did raise two boys. One thing I know, it is advisable to search for what the experts say about parenting and to stay informed on the subject. Even just a quick search on the internet will yield so many resources that we would need several thumb drives to save them all into a digital library. Just be sure to verify credentials and save only reliable and well-known child experts, such as WebMD, Parents (they have an entire family of magazines), and Focus on the Family, to name but a few.

Raising healthy and well-adjusted children requires more than an ounce of gentleness, patience, and self-control on our part. No doubt about it, no matter their age! For example, when children live with a harsh or violent parent, they will likely learn to be harsh and violent to some degree. And the opposite is also true. Developing a kind and quiet nature ourselves will go far in modeling what we may want to see in our grown children someday. 

If we are simply looking for ways to improve our parenting skills (and who isn't?), the following four tips for maintaining sanity should get the ball rolling:

• Join a mom's group such as MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers at mops.org) 
• Best book in print is: Boundaries With Kids by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend
• Raise children in a Christian home and church where they can grow, learn, and play
• Best Power Source: prayer, prayer, and more prayer for ourselves and our children! (Philippians 4:6a NLT).

Tip of the Day 

One of the best examples of love and kindness towards children was demonstrated by Jesus himself. True, He was not a mom! But because He is God, He is our heavenly Father. So He knows the feeling when we wonder about doing all we can for our child. He can be our very best Friend in our most important role. We can make sure to include Him in all our ways and days!

“But Jesus said, ‘Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.’ And he placed his hands on their heads and blessed them before he left” (Matthew 19:14-15 NLT).

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6 NIV).

TIME

TIME IS ALL WE HAVE!

SO DON'T FORGET TO TAKE BREAKS LIKE 

THIS BLOG IS TAKING THE REST OF 

THIS MONTH!

WE WILL BE BACK ON AUGUST 5TH!

Beautiful Reflections

Kaleidoscope: endless reflections 

When we were in high school or college, there were always some science teachers who had a way of making things especially interesting. God bless those teachers who continue to have that kind of passion! One time it was a lesson on reflective surfaces. What made that demonstration so interesting was creating a favorite type of toy: the kaleidoscope. 

Ordinary objects like beads, glass, and buttons, along with mirrors and angles, created beautiful pictures inside a tube when held up to the light. And none of the colorful designs were ever the same twice. Understandably, to this day, kaleidoscopes are popular for both kids and adults alike. The lack of duplication in the design is precisely how each one of us is made: individually awesome with unique characteristics.

However, there are specific times in our lives when we do not feel so wonderful or powerful. Certainly, living through a marital break-up or the loss of a spouse caused all sorts of unpleasant feelings to surface, sometimes all at once. We thought we were never going to feel good about ourselves again. 

Especially if it was a first marriage or a long marriage, we may have believed we just couldn’t make it on our own. We didn’t have enough of anything. Not enough know-how. Not enough money. Not enough looks, education, or a home. Not enough of the one hundred other things we could think up. Does this sound like anyone we know? 

That is how twisted our minds can get when we are under stress, can not think, and don’t even understand ourselves, never mind the other person. But it is of utmost importance to remember that we were created to be wonderful women and therefore, we still are wonderful, powerful, and enough in every way--no one can take that away from us!

Even if the person we lived with never appreciated our true beauty, talents, or gifts, who says we have to accept that lack of vision? We have a chance to shatter any distorted image of ourselves by recognizing:

• Our value is not dependent on another person. On this earth, only you can know you. With that kind of power, we can achieve more than we ever have before. We can go as far as we can imagine. Begin by enjoying just the next twenty-four hours. And then the next, and then. . .
• One person can never change another person. We can only change our response to that person. It is a difficult habit to break, but realizing how hard it is to simply correct our own imperfections leaves us no room to go when we try imposing our standards on others.
• Nothing and no one can ever make God turn His back on us. Not even ourselves. The good news is no matter what we have done or how we lived or didn’t live our past lives, He accepts us unconditionally with loving arms. He loves us. Period. We are His precious daughters!

Time to go out now and buy a kaleidoscope to celebrate our beautiful and powerful form! [p.s. that's the word that means beautiful form to see in Greek.] 

Tip of the Day

This is important to remember: No power in heaven or earth can cut us off from God's love. Once we ask the Lord into our hearts, He is there forever. He is there to guide us. He is there to protect us. He is there to provide for us. He is there. Always.

So now that we are settled into correct thinking and on our own, we can do our souls good by drawing near to God and preparing for heaven (our permanent home) while on earth. Nothing will give us more faith, hope, and confidence in knowing that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him."

“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?” (Romans 8:31 NLT).

Did You Lose Your Key?

Where will your key fit?

Nowhere does it say that just because a person attends college, she becomes wiser than anyone else. Certainly, higher education is an admirable goal and one that should seriously be considered, no matter what age we are! Hopefully, we are now anxious to choose or finish the better aspects of higher education. 

Sound like a plan? Before we realize it, four years can disappear faster than a hummingbird. It’s all about balance and choices that propel us in the right direction. A press release by CareerBuilder once stated in a title, “One-Third of College-Educated Workers Do Not Work in Occupations Related to Their College Major. Thirty-six Percent Wish They Majored in Something Different.” There's a hint to start a little research!

If we feel stuck finding our specific niche in life, then it may require some honest soul-searching. Fear, a major cause of procrastination, normally is the culprit that holds us back. But once we discover the key to our dreams, any amount of time spent on educating ourselves and then working in our chosen field is all joy. Try starting with these seven key questions:

• What particular activity can cause you to lose track of time?
• What books, magazines, or online articles do you find yourself reading?
• What do people compliment you on as “your gift?”
• Did your younger self have a dream that was never realized?
• If you have a degree, how could you now use it in a new field?
• If you are retired, how could you use your skills as a volunteer?
• If money wasn’t an issue, what would you do with the rest of your life?

Tip of the Day

We don’t need to feel alone in this exciting adventure. We are not alone. Even before we were born, in our mother’s womb, God already had a perfect plan designed for each one of us. That’s His special niche! He’s been preparing us to jump in with all the courage and strength we can find. 

God is anxious to give us plenty of wisdom to see all our dreams come true, especially now that we are on our own. All we have to do is let Him know we are ready and willing to move ahead with Him in the driver’s seat. Get ready, Graduation Day is coming!

“But if any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous to everyone and will give you wisdom without criticizing you” (James 1:5 NCV).